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mitchtheficus · 3 years ago

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A Golden Lovers Timeline

PART 14: CRISIS

it’s new years dash again (the day after WK) and we hit a crisis point

it starts off normal enough, the Elite have a match tagging together and as you can see Kenny and Matt are still pretty beat up from last night [LINK]

[ID: picture of Kenny with a head and rib bandage. Gif of Matt wincing in pain while trying to do the bucks’ pose. the camera moves over to Nick who grins wildly and does the pose. End ID]

(Nick is gleefully just fine lol)

A little later, Kota and Cody have a tag match [Full match Official LINK] [free LINK for end of match]

it’s pretty light-hearted and silly

but the second the match ends, Cody goes for Kota

[ID: gif of Cody grabbing Kota by the foot and dragging him out of the ring and punching his back. End ID]

Chase (who should know better) and Hikuleo (who is new) get Kota down on his knees while Yujiro (who does know better) gesticulates his concern from the apron

[ID: gif of Chase and Hikuleo holding Kota on his knees. Cody walks around them holding a chair. in the corner of the screen Brandi Rhodes hits the mat in support. End ID]

for months now Cody has been targeting Kota to try to get Kenny to react

And finally, finally he does

when it becomes clear what Cody is going to do Kenny has to make a choice, and the speed with which he reacts suggests it was barely a choice at all. he’s already on his way before Cody even raises the chair

[ID: two gifs. in the first Kenny slides into the ring under the bottom rope right as Cody lifts the chair. Kenny rips the chair out of Cody’s hands and throws it. In the second Kenny is shouting and shoving Cody who starts to shout and shove him back. Chase and Hikuleo are uncertainly holding Kota by the hair this whole time. End ID]

I highly recommend watching the moment for yourself, there’s something so magical about the crowd reaction, the way they come alive when they see Kenny

the way they scream when he looks at Kota for the first time

[ID: a gif of Kenny pushing Chase and Hikuleo and walking towards Kota, who is rolling away towards the edge of the ring. He turns back around to Cody. the second is a picture of that moment with Kenny looking down at Kota, Kenny’s face is expressive, Kota’s is obscured. Chase looks on clearly confused. End ID]

the way they start chanting his name as he and Cody shout at each other, the only ones in this situation who are unequivocally on his side in this, wholeheartedly supporting his choice to protect Kota

It’s just a perfect moment, one of my favorites in this whole story. it’s the first moment of Kenny’s feelings for Kota being put out in front of everyone, finally unmasked for what they really are. everything he’s been telling us for years has been a lie, he doesn’t want to fight Kota at all. he can’t bear to see him hurt, can’t bear it to such an extent that he attacks one of his own friends, shoves his own stablemates, pushed into action without thought or plan by the power of his feelings for Kota

(and as a queer person it makes me emotional to see a gay love story so public, so central to the plot, with all these other characters involved and invested)

Kota ends up curled up by the edge of the ring, not looking. waiting.

[ID: gif of Kota curled over the apron, he’s perfectly still, hiding his face in his hand while the bullet club argues in the background. End ID]

But nothing else happens

Kenny doesn’t approach or look at Kota again.

[ID: Kenny shouting at Cody: “YOU LOST YESTERDAY! YOU LOST! IT’S OVER! LET IT GO! LET IT GO!” End ID]

eventually Kenny tells Cody that he is the leader here and Cody seems shocked, shocked! by this information. he leaves, and gives his ‘he said i’m not the leader, than who am i’ promo in the post-match comments [LINK]

Kota does post-match comments too, and when the reporters ask Kota what happened, he first tries interpreting their question to be about Cody

[ID: picture of Kota saying: “I guess he wanted some revenge.” End ID - LINK]

when the reporters make their meaning more explicit

[ID: picture of Kota as reporter says: “At the end, Kenny was there to save you.” End ID - LINK]

he lies (as he admits later)

[ID: three gifs of Kota saying: "I don't know what that means. I don't know why. I don't know if he was trying to save me." he keeps looking down. End ID - LINK]

and then he changes the subject

but before he leaves he tells them that he has something planned for this year, something that he’s gonna make happen

back in the ring Kenny takes this opportunity to give a speech

[ID: picture of Kenny in the ring with a mic and a BC shirt saying: “The Bullet Club hasn't been whole for a long time. We need unity! We need to be a team again! [...] No more fighting! [...] I know exactly what we need.” End ID]

Kenny’s Big Idea To Save The Bullet Club From Divorce is adopting a horrible garbage emo son who is just obsessed with knives

Jay White has just recently joined the heavyweight roster after his time on excursion following his training as a young lion, and last night at WK he challenged Tanahashi and lost

[ID: picture of Kenny speaking to Jay White in the ring saying: “I've always seen your potential...You remind me of the Cleaner Kenny Omega in 2015.” End ID]

unfortunately for Kenny, Jay isn’t actually very much like 2015!Kenny at all

he isn’t a deeply insecure, heartbroken loser so desperate to become something worthwhile that he’ll join a group he knows isn’t a good fit and make himself second to a man he doesn’t respect. he isn’t trying to bury a golden heart underneath grey hair and anime villain posturing, he’s genuinely garbage through and through.

and he knows the look of a man spinning wildly out of control when he sees one. he’s not hitching his horse to that wagon

[ID: Jay, wearing a BC shirt, poses in celebration with Kenny, then his expression changes and he drags his hand across his neck and attacks Kenny. End ID]

more than that, he knows Kenny.

[ID: gif of Jay from his post-match comments: ”Kenny, did you forget the time we spent together on tour when I was a young boy? I know what you’re like. I know what the Bullet Club is like.” End ID - LINK]

He’s been training in NJPW for quite a while now. in fact, he was one of the young lions who carried a weeping Kota to the back after Kenny’s betrayal in 2015.

[ID: gif of a young Jay White and Sho Tanaka carrying Kota away from the ring. End ID]

he hasn’t forgotten witnessing that act of betrayal. he even brings it up later (Feb 2018) to warn Kota against trusting Kenny again

[ID: three gifs of a future post-match comments where Jay says: “Don’t forget who your tag partner tonight is. Don’t forget Invasion Attack 2015... I remember. I was right there at ringside watching. He hopped up on the apron, distracted you for a split second, but that was more than enough. That’s on Kenny. Don’t forget what he’s like, or Ibushi your heart...your heart will be broken once more. End ID]

he tagged with Kota once a few months after that betrayal (Kota defended him when AJ Styles attacked him after their match), and then in 2016 he met Kenny in a singles match. Kenny was incredibly disrespectful during their match and he remembers that too. [LINK]

Jay recognizes this BC invitation as the admission of fear that it is, what better way of keeping a potential rival out of your way then bringing them into your stable? (stablemates fight at most once a year during the G1 climax)

his rejection is a shock to Kenny

[ID: Kenny, exhausted and laughing, in his post-match comments saying: “Well I can't say I expected that. Usually- Usually everyone is dying to be a member of the Bullet Club. I feel like an idiot.” End ID - LINK]

Kenny gave up everything to be a member of the bullet club

“One by one, as time went on, I lost everything. And in times when I had something that I enjoyed in life, I had to sacrifice it in order to become the best.”

- Kenny Omega, in an interview leading up to WK12 [LINK]

sacrificed his relationship with Kota

ID: picture of Kenny on a rooftop talking to Kevin Kelly and saying: “When I perform I give you of my heart and of my soul, and even tho that heart is black and that soul is mostly gone, it's still enough to be better than everyone else.” End ID - LINK]

corrupted and damaged his own heart and soul

and here’s Jay White, treating the honor of Bullet Club membership like it’s less than nothing.

I feel like 2016 and 2017 were the years of Kenny Omega getting everything he ever said he wanted and finding those victories empty

He won two heavyweight titles, became the first foreigner to ever win the G1, main-evented WK... but the closest he felt to happiness during that time was winning the G1, and he said: “Maybe the only other time I felt that was when I was a tag team with an old partner of mine.”

he used to feel that joy that all the time when he was with Kota, and now he only gets brief flashes of it

Even Kota’s return has been completely different to what Kenny said he wanted. No epic showdown where Kenny could finally prove himself better, instead Kota reached out and Kenny pulled away

and during this time his only solace has been the Young Bucks

but lately the bucks have been distracted with their youtube show and their new ROH friends (including Cody)

last night at WK Kenny had to stumble out alone, and today at NYD the bucks didn’t have his back yet again

after the show the the BTE guys go out to a restaurant together and shit finally hits the fan [LINK]

hilariously it starts off with Nick (holding the bucks’ single emotional intelligence brain cell as usual) noticing the tension between kenny and cody and being confused (proof that the bucks genuinely didn’t see what happened at NYD)

and Kenny let’s it all spill out

[ID: two gifs. Kenny at dinner with everyone saying: “five episodes later, where are my [BTE] appearances? Where are my vlogs?” and in the second: “What about me getting my ass kicked by Chris Jericho? Where were any of you?” End ID]

(we later learn that Cody has been interfering with the BTE editing, which is at least part of why the vlogs haven’t been included)

but those things are mild aggravations compared to the central issue here. and Kenny finally acknowledges it

[ID: four gifs of Kenny at dinner saying: And I said specifically to you, Cody: anyone but him. Anyone but him. So I have to ask you, Cody, now that we’re just out in the open addressing this. We might as well just tackle this right now. Why? Why?” End ID]

this is so heartbreaking to me. Kenny is finally pushed to the point of admitting that he has tried to protect Kota, and just as he gets there, Matt begins complaining that kenny is ruining their nice dinner, like kenny isn’t demanding an explanation for the love of his life getting jumped by a supposed friend

but the bucks don’t understand what this is really about. not only did they not see the events of NYD, they think the tension between kenny and cody is about Being The Leader (something they care nothing about), so they can’t recognize what is really at stake here or why Kenny is so deeply upset

and you almost can’t blame them, because Kenny has been lying so hard about it for so long

after NYD he gives an interview in Tokyo Sports and tries to pass off his reaction as annoyance at Cody for stepping out of line

(When he tried to attack Ibushi) Cody went into business for himself. That's the kind of thing Jericho would do, or Suzuki Gun. I don't want that from Bullet Club. I want us to be the best in ring bell to bell. I'll have to go back to Canada, take a break and think about this. Of course Kota and I have a lot of history but any more than that.. no comment.

- Kenny Omega, translation by Chris Charlton [LINK]

I really do think that if Kenny had, at this point, taken them aside and explained everything to the bucks, they’d have had his back. but he just isn’t capable of that admission right now. maybe he never was, but certainly not now when he’s feeling so embattled and alone

[ID: gif of Kenny standing up from the table saying: “You have purposefully excluded me from everything anyway [...] Whats another episode without Kenny Omega? Let’s make it number 6!]

Kenny leaves and cody tells the others not to follow him

he evil master plan is coming along nicely, he’s pushed Kenny nearly to the edge and started to fray the bond between him and the bucks

but he hasn’t fully considered the consequences of giving Kota Ibushi hope

[PART 15] [ALL PARTS]

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firelxdykatara · 4 years ago

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not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)

oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just

i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)

first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.

i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.

(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)

i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”

i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)

there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.

shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.

and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.

it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.

they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess

another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).

meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.

and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.

uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.

#the vampire diaries #tvd #tvd fandom salt #anti stefan #anti stelena #salt for ts #asked #Anonymous

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eddsworld-for-real-justice-2 · 4 years ago

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okay im sorry but i keep thinking about Jon's justification for siding with the TBATF crew. There's so much I have to say so I'm gonna do it in bullet points so I can keep all my thoughts together-- I hope thats okay. (sources from tbatf-callout and here because holy shit is it hard to find archives of this stuff.)

He's weighing his own experience with two sexual assault allegations and the person who was suicide baited by Jax.

He, himself, is someone on the Eddsworld crew. The TBATF crew are very obviously invested in Eddsworld, and appear to want to be involved with the production of the show itself on some level (see: Jax being a fucking mod on their server for a while, the art she's produced for them, the fact that they've been tagging Matt Lobster in their tweets, etc.). Of fucking course they aren't going to be rude to Jon, he's a fucking artist on the goddamn show. Idk about you, but I'd probably be extra nice to someone like that if I were in Jax or Kenz's position.

The TBATF team were calling their detractors "dEddheads." Regardless of how you feel about the allegations, using that sort of term against anyone in the Eddsworld fandom is INCREDIBLY disrespectful. A crew member on the show of all people should fucking know this.

The fucking scene where edd is sexually assaulted (1) (2) (3) and its played off as a joke. I don't think I need to comment on why that's fucked up. (note the ""disclaimer"" that they put in only AFTER people rightfully asked them what the fuck they were thinking.)

Even after all of this-- the sexual assault allegations, the suicide baiting allegations, the use of the term "deddhead," and the rape joke that they tried to damage control, Jon (who, again, is a member of the show the tbatf crew loves) believes that his experience outweighs everything else.

Jon is an official member of the Eddsworld crew. I need to stress that. I feel like theres a big fat difference between a fan defending TBATF and a fucking CREW MEMBER defending them.

What kind of fucking internal rot does the crew have where they keep protecting shitty people? what the fuck is wrong with them?

//sidenote b4 i send this in: Jon says this in his defense of the crew.

I think it'd be one thing if the crew had just, like... made a bad joke and recognized it and apologized or something like that. hell, if they had just... acknowledged that the assault scene with edd specifically was fucked up and that they were sorry and wouldnt do it again and ended up actually doing better, i wouldnt have even brought it up. but instead they doubled down on it, and they tried to say edd "liked it" only AFTER everyone blew up on them. and this isnt even to mention the fucking irl sexual assault allegations or the suicide baiting or any of that which, yknow, kinda seems MORE than just a "fuck up" that wasnt "malicious with their intentions" or whatever.

God, I hate this fucking crew.

jon is such a fucking lost cause at this point. if he doesn't recognize by now that this shit is not only real but is also only going to get worse if he just stands by, who KNOWS when it's finally gonna start hitting him. the longer he just leaves these people like this the more people are gonna get roped into it and get hurt. what he needs is to take a step back and really weigh their actions towards other people versus their actions towards him. and it looks like what he wants is the exact opposite.

so far, i've noticed a running trend with the entire eddsworld crew, not just jon: people don't stop to think about what they're doing before they do it. none of the writers stopped to think about putting a pedo joke OR and ableist joke in beaster bunny. bing didn't stop to think that antagonizing a whole group of people for liking a ship is a really shitty thing to do, ESPECIALLY after a lot of the drama taking place died 3-4 years ago. and now jon.

it's abundantly clear he's not thinking critically about this.

and while i would say that what we need to do is to tell him to get off his ass and do something about it (which we should still do), if it takes less time for teenagers to recognize what's going on compared to a grown ass man who probably knows about even MORE shitty things these people have done...

he shouldn't be in a respected position in the first place.

#there's a lot more to say here but i'm burnt out #ew discourse #long post #tbatf tw #ask to tag #strawberryrosewood

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akpaleyreblogs · 4 years ago

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youtube

Welcome to the Allison Just Blogs Here hour.

So I have. Started watching some of these again I used to watch them a lot, it’s what resulted in me running the game the first time as a young adult instead of doing something else to stay in touch with folks, was having Opinions about shit Matt Coleville said. Nowadays I get anxious half the time when I engage with how-to D&D content, I get in my head and overly critical about my own work, but I’ve been watching some of these again and I feel like this is maybe. Really Important?

Like not “you should have fun when you write and run the game,” clearly I figured that one out, but in the middle it talks about tension. If you want to write something and you’re not feeling it it’s usually about lack of tension. And that one is. Crazy important, I think, for me personally.

I’ve been sitting here trying to script a video where I’m relaying information and it’s not going anywhere because 1) I don’t have anything unique to say and 2) I’m not arguing a point. And I think this is maybe the reason to write critical content I’ve been on the fence about writing, or write something that’s a huge fucking meme but entertains me, or write some older stuff that I have specific points to make about even though it’s not in the weird place I’ve for some reason decided to pigeonhole myself into. Which maybe means I’m about to throw away a couple weeks of work (though as long as I hang onto it it’s not REALLY thrown away, and if a way to make it something I care about comes to me I will) and that’s not my favorite thing, but.

I don’t want to be writing essays that don’t contribute anything to the conversation or mean anything to anyone?

I wrote and researched The Cosmere Basics because Spencer found all the similar resources for learning about that kind of stuff inadequate, he wasn’t learning, and he wanted the information. That MEANS something. I wrote the radiant honor video because I couldn’t stop rambling around that point at all my fandom friends who would let me, that wanted to be made. The couple things I’ve been trying to script currently are just information. Who needs this information? Who does this serve? Who will care if they’re not already invested enough in the minutia of this fandom to know most of it anyway? At least The Cosmere Basics is substantial work to track down comprehensively even as a long time fan and required use of a lot of extratextual resources to do.

I don’t want to just. Make shit to make shit, I guess. It won’t be good? So I need to consume more and read more and go have more things to have thoughts or feelings or opinions about or else doing YouTube is stupid and I should just be burning through video tutorials like crazy. I can develop a brand and put funny character drawings in things without talking only about one or two topics. If I’m any good people will care anyway as long as I’m smart about tagging things and posting stuff when it’s topical, and if I’m not this was never going to be anything anyway.

I’m gonna go pull out some ideas I actually care about and find some books to read on narrative construction and film theory now, bye.

#I just blog here sometimes I guess #I mean this isn't the first time #this is the terribly informal blog #it's allowed

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bijoulilou · 6 years ago

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If Jude's parents still lived pt 3

Days had passed since that night. When I awoke, I was in my own bed, Taryn sprawled on the floor. I had deduced that we had come through my bedroom window on the second floor. Vivi answered my question by throwing it open herself and crawling through gracefully. She had given me a triumphant expression that I couldn't help but complement with a tired but relieved smile.

I didn't bother running that morning or any other after that. Dad noticed right away and asked if something was wrong. I merely replied that I was exhausted. But it wasn't true. None of it was. As I sat at my desk taking notes for history, my mind starts to wonder if I should join a gym or run around the track something falls out of my book. My eyes widen and I slowly reach to pick it up off the floor.

A black feather, the plumage so dark its iridescence shines between a purple and blue twirls between my fingers. I look up to see if anyone notices but they don't. I quickly place it beneath my notebook and turn the page to continue with lecture. There are scribbles there, too elegant to be my own, written anecdotes that don't make any sense. At least not to others like me. At end of the page there's a familiar one, Tayrn and I used to wonder aloud what it meant growing up and Vivi would tease us with a possible answer.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

I remember Cardan tangling his arms through my own as we danced. The honeyed wine I was warned against drinking, the hungry eyes that gathered around and reveled in my humaness. How tired I became and the way we sat and talked for what seemed forever.

I glance at the page until class is over, I try to push the thought of it out of my head for the rest of day. After school, practice is a welcome distraction from the constant buzz of senior nonsense. During this time I don't have to worry about college admission, scholarships or be invested in Taryn's clique drama. She eats up the attention and admiration from everyone, particularly when she gets casted for a lead in a play. When we went back to public school, there was this expectation that it was going to be weird. After watching hours of television, with plotlines revolving around outsiders being rebuked by the general pop--it was natural to be wary. But no, not many people cared if we were homeschooled for a bit. They found us interesting and entertaining. I remember Taryn glowing with pride when our classmates would invite us over to their table for lunch or to hang out after pickup. I was bored and preferred Dad showing me his creations or mom her medicines. It amazes me how right the weapons always felt in my hand, especially the weight of the sword. Dad beamed and said I looked like a knight, I think that's why I took to sports so easily, I played other sports in the off season to stay in shape and ready. Mom would lecture us when we'd play with wooden swords about strategy and cunning. Vivi would leave the room, she didn't want to hear stories of battles that didn't happen or the undercut ways to win wars. But the way mom would describe would sound so real, she'd stop talking about when dad came in the room. Mom would wipe us with poultice and make us strands of hawthorn and rowan berries when we'd play in the woods. After we started hanging out with other children she'd stop doing it as much.

A teammate of mine had tackled the lights out of me, I felt the wind get wicked out of my lungs. This wasn't like me, to be here but not totally here. To be absentminded.

In the locker room, after a very long cold shower and scaring some of my teammates with my scowl, I slowly get dressed.

"Pick your poison." Katie, dark haired with deep bronze skin holds up a kinesthetic tape and baby aspirin. I pick the aspirin, taking two with a swig from my water bottle. Katie hands me the tape anyway and I reluctantly start to wrap up my ribs, hissing during the process. The phrase sticks in my head, like a rhyme.

Pick your poison.Pick your Poison.Pick your--

"Do you want to go to Laken's party tonight?" Mara asks us. She's the one that tackled me out on the field, she gives me an apologetic expression. I throw a pair of dirty socks at her and call it even. Mara accepts this with a wrinkled nose and sits next to me, waiting for our answer. Katie nods, we were going to go hang out at a coffee shop and do homework. But after today, I can blow some steam.

"Let me just drop off my bag at home at first." They both give me an unimpressed eye roll. They suspect that I'll bail, I'm not a huge fan of Laken's parties. They tend to get out of hand, not in a fun way either. "I gotta run it by parents first, you guys know how my mom hates texts."

They nod. It's only half true that , mom hates when we text her, she'd prefer seeing our faces with face time or in person. She's been wary about us being on our own as we get older. Dad usually covers for us, like he did for that night in woods. He thinks mom worries too much.

"Hey Jude, there's someone here for you." One of the junior girls notifies me. My brow furrows in frustration. Taryn can be a real priss sometimes, she detests coming into the locker room. Taryn complains of the smell, but I swear the boys locker room's stench wafts all the way to the tennis courts.

Katie gives annoyed snort, " That sister of yours is a piece of work."

Before I can defend Taryn, Mara interrupts and says she'll walk me out and makes us confirm that we'll meet up later. Katie and I give a half hearted okay. When I try to hand Katie back her wrap she tells me to keep it. I give her a thanks, which is rare. We call it a truce.

As we're walking out Mara starts to ask me what's the deal between Katie and Taryn. I explain that those two have always been at odds since middle school. Taryn accuses her of being a nag and a bore, Katie says that she's pushy and manipulative. Mara sighs, but before she can say anything, a slight girl with thick cloud of white hair greets me. Except she's not a girl.

Mara waves goodbye, telling me she'll hopefully see me later at Laken's party. My visitor greets me but I can see through disguise. A boy in passing gives her a hooded look, she responds by winking. As she retrieves a beanie from her back pocket, he looks back repeatedly hoping to catch her eye. She's oblivious, or probably doesn't care, as she asks me to follow her. Without hesitation, she grabs my hand to lead me anyway.

Not sure why, but I follow her. I could easily take her, magical being or not. We walk the past tennis courts cutting through the now empty fields to some abandoned benches. There's a slumped figure sipping what seems like a slurpee, the closer I get i can see that he isn't human either. His crooked nose hangs at a strange angle while his skin has unhealthy green gleam beneath it. I ask if he's alright and she grins like it's a joke. She whistles and he looks up but I see another figure shoots up like a bullet.

I stop, unable to help my jaw from dropping. Its Cardan dressed in casual clothes like his companions.

"Are you all actually dressed in regular clothes or is that glamour?" The three of them stiffen. "Is everyone really that surprised that I figured that out? I mean my sister is one of you. Half of you?" I wave off that math problem and face the one at hand.

"Ah. Yes and no." Cardan admits, the other two don't know how to process his open honesty. He makes introductions, "These are my acquaintances, I trust them with most things and I hope you do the same. This is the Bomb and the Roach." The male does a little curtsey while the female does a flourish with her hat as she bows.

"Fancy," I admonish," I am Jude as you all know." I bend my knees a little and awkwardly wave. Cardan beams and I start to notice all the little details. He's wearing an outfit that seems oddly familiar with a few tags sticking out. The Bomb and the Roach's attire look worn and inconspicuous.

"Funny, I would have thought you referred to as the Queen." The Roach points one of my many embellished sweaters I have on. An oversized maroon pullover with my nickname scrawled in gold on the sleeves and crown on my chest. Dad gave it to me for Christmas. There's a knitted cal that's meant to look like a crown at the back of my closet. I wear that after a game to show good sportsmanship.

"Yeah. Hey, I've seen that before. Did you get that off a mannequin at Target?" I squint and start to pull off the tags. Yep, definitely from Target. I notice the venti spiked black matte Starbucks cup in Cardan's hand. "DUDE! I've been saving up to get that. Where did you get this?"

"I just happened to come upon this today." Cardan casually shrugs but the way he phrases it sounds strange.

" You took this from someone didn't you." I can imagine him on his way out of the store with bags in hand, spotting this cup and taking someone's order.

"It was there in the open, nobody had claimed it. I assure you." Cardan rises and beckons me forward. "Did you get any of my messages?"

Before I could answer, the Bomb steps in. "Your highness, perhaps it be a better idea to have this conversation in closed quarters."

Cardan assess her but agrees with a tilt of his chin. "Jude, would you join me?" He extends his hand towards me as the other two turn to leave into the woods.

"Where? Wait where are they going?"

Cardan sighs and extends his hand again, "Do you trust me?"

Without hesitation I hand him my bag and say, "No. But I've got questions. Perhaps you can fill me in." I take his hand instead and start leading him away from the forest and start dialing my mom's number. I press a finger to my lips, gesturing for him to stay quiet. Mom picks up on the third ring, opting for face time.

"Hey mom. My friends and I are going out to eat and I might spend the night at Katie's. Laken's having a party." I roll my eyes at the last bit.

Mom tucks her hair behind her ears, revealing the seashell drop earrings Taryn gave her for mother's day. With a grimace, she calls Laken an awful child which prompts her to ask questions. Where's Taryn? Have I heard from Vivi? Why am I going to said awful child's thing if I detest it so much? What's the point of having so many children if they dont keep an eye for each other?

While I answer her questions with mostly shrugs and half hatched answers, Cardan observes the contents of my backpack. I throw my shoe at him, quickly hanging up before my mom can hear his disapproval.

"You should be so lucky." Cardan sighs and pulls on a beanie with my name emblazoned on it. Taryn made that so people don't confuse us, I'm not that narcissistic. "Ah, there it is. So you did get my messages." He flips through my notebooks and pulls out what looks like the feather I found in class today.

Cardan zips up my backpack while I decide what's the best course of action.

"Is it safer if we go to a human place to eat or your potential hide hole?" He cocks an eyebrow in my direction. "I only assume it's not where you actually live. I doubt I'm welcomed there."

Cardan fixes upon me, measuring my pause and I'm afraid he can hear how fast my heart is beating. I put my hand on my hips, relieved that I left my sports bag in my locker. All that weight might slow us down again.

"Let's go somewhere safe for the both of us." Cardan gestures and I take his hand to lead us to the diner.

We walk at a leisurely pace as Cardan takes in the sights and observing my kind in their natural habitats. We make it to the Moonlight diner to find it mostly empty. I lead Cardan to a booth and wait for the waitress to greet us.

Watching Cardan bounce on the seats and dump the sugar out of the canister prompts me to apologize and order water and napkins. The waitress is not amused by my companion's peculiar behavior. I mouth that he's an exchange student before she walks away. Cardan flips through the menu, catching the reflection off the laminated surface, he starts to flip it back and forth.

Repeatedly.

When the waitress returns I ask for more time. With an annoyed look she leaves us and I slam my hand to stop Cardan from playing with the menu.

"What do you recommend?" Cardan sits forward with his hands under his chin, upset that I ruined his fun.

"The cat tendencies with you." I point out and then quickly add,"If you have a sweet tooth then I suggest the pie a la mode or a milkshake." He holds a hand up and asks for both.

When she comes back I ask for two order of the pie, a vanilla milkshake, and coffee. I'm going to need the caffeine.

"So...where to begin?" I muse bringing the cup of black coffee to lips. My eyes flicker to his as he's sipping his water. Cardan makes a face but keeps sipping it anyway.

"Let's start with my unanswered messages." Right then the waitress, Cindee, as it says on her name tag brings Cardan his milkshake. An expression flies across her face as she catches the last bit of our conversation. She walks away thinned lipped, intrigued by our table.

With a clearing of my throat I explain that I haven't a clue about what he's referring to. I raise my legs to put my feet on his seat. Cardan's eyes fall on them and he asks about my knee. I tell him that it's better, I hardly notice it at all. What I don't tell him is that I saved the scrap of cloak that he wrapped it in. It's locked away in my jewelry box.

"Those riddles and rambling in my notebook...the feather, were those what you're referring to?"

Once again, Cindee chimes in with our food. When I thank her, she slowly retreats away to tend to somebody else.

"That and other things. What about the others? I had them delivered on your walk home and at your window." When he sees my confusion he reaches for my backpack and retrieves an acorn. Before I can ask how that got in there, he pops the top off and reveals a thin scroll of parchment with familiar scrawling.

"Is that why I keep finding acorns everywhere?!" I take it and hold it up to the light. Sure enough it's a message from Cardan about how he missed me for my morning run. Asking if he could join me. I try to imagine Cardan running and instantly laugh. He does not find this amusing.

"I sent them in pinecones and on ribbons. Imagine my surprise when I heard you finally came upon the ones I wrote upon your notebook. That's why I sent the Bomb to meet you. The Roach helped me blend in, you pointed out that my usual attire can be distracting."

"Sorry, I still can't wrap my head around the pinecone thing." There's a few that I found on the other side of my windowsill, one just this morning. Cardan makes crude noise. He tells me not to apologize ever to a faerie, especially himself. I reach for the extra milkshake cylinder and take a spoonful. Make sure to keep that in mind.

"What did you want to tell me that you couldn't tell me in person?"

One of Cardan's ears peek out of the beanie as he sips on his milkshake. I glance at it quickly before looking out the window. When we were little, Vivi let us touch her ears. The childish urge to trace them surfaces and I silently repress it. Sitting on my hands, I wait for his answer.

"I wanted to make sure that I was keeping up with my promise. You asked me to refrain from stalking you and I didn't want to offend you."

I turn to face him with a softened gaze, "Me too. I mean, I was half expecting you to show up at my window. I'm pretty sure Locke has been visiting my sister. Taryn doesn't want to admit that he can't tell us apart. " I recall how he called taped on my window one night and I threaten to push him off the roof.

Cardan bursts out laughing, the beanie falling off his head. Without missing a beat, he reaches to put it back on. His cheeks are rosy and I can't help the corners of my mouth from tilting up.

"I must admit, I was...wary of Locke being around. He tends to fancy himself a charmer."

I think back to the party, as Cardan and I conversed in the dark, from the corner of my eye I saw Locke talking with the blue haired girl.

"He doesn't sound like a good friend to me. I couldn't help but noticing the way the blue haired girl glared at us. They seemed to be talking half the night." I take a spoon and being to dig into my melting pie a la mode. "Was she an ex of yours?" I ask point blank.

Cardan frowns, "An ex?"

Taking a bite of the pie and melted cream, I supply the phrases 'ex-lover' and ''ex-girlfriend'. He nods and I can deduce that Locke had everything to do with it.

"Makes sense. I thought only girls on the field wanted to melt me with their eyes. Now I got a mermaid out to murder me."

Another chuckle leaves his lips, "It truly surprises me how quick you are." He uses his spoon to taste from my plate and I slap it away with my own. The metal clanging hirts my teeth but this is my life's honor I'm defending. He reaches for it anyway and I smack that back of his hand with my spoon this time. "Young lady, may I remind you that this is a prince you are dealing with. Most would find you bold--"

"Most do find me bold, dear prince." And I rapidly take a spoonful of his cherry pie and smile triumphantly at slight of hand.

Cardan does not find that amusing, "I've punished others for less you know." His voice is laden thick with warning and I serve him an equally cool tone.

"As have I. Though you are a prince, as funny as you may find, many consider me queen. This is my domain sort to speak and you are my guest. I expect you abide by our customs as most would yours."

His eyes darken at my words and he rapts his long fingers on the table. "If our roles were reversed and you were amongst my people instead of yours, would you pay me the expected respect of my title?"

"If you behaved as a faerie of your title should, with just and fairness?" I ask and he gives a little nod," If you didn't provoke or threaten my livelihood I might abide by those natural laws of your world. But that is neither here nor there. Besides, I can't imagine a situation were I would even get that close to you, much less be accepted under your court."

" Jude, even you with your lightly heeded title are respected amongst your peers. Though my kind are by your definition unpredictable but we still abide by rules and Mark's of respect. There are exceptions at my court, under my father's rule nothing quite surprises me. A human to be accepted as part of the gentry, it's not unheard of."

I'm not convinced, "Okay. Give me an example. A real example not something that you heard some inkling of from centuries before." I play with the last bits of my food the conversation turning my stomach as our light attitudes are dampened by what goes unsaid.

What a ridiculous notion, to fall in love with a person from a different world.

Cardan chooses his words carefully and he begins to trace the lines of my open palm. I've realized that he does this as a distraction and come to find all these excuses he makes to touch me. As if I might disappear like a whiff if smoke. He observes a garnet ring that I have on my ring finger. It belongs to my mom, theres an insignia on it. Honestly it could be anything for that matter.

"Actually, there was a general. A Red Cap that married a mortal." Cardan picks apart my fingers, memorizing their shape and intricate grooves. "I've been told that my mother was great friends with this woman, which is rare for such a mortal to not only be accepted but recognized as his legitimate wife. Those two would be at the center of it all causing mirth and chaos. One day the general comes back from battle to find his residence burned to the ground. His wife and child burned to ash."

I pull my hand away from the story. Something about it sounding so familiar. My voice is quiet and I manage to keep the quake out of it when I ask him to continue.

"Nobody knows. There are rumors that his enemies took advantage of his absence to take their revenge. Others say perhaps she had a spurned lover who committed a crime of passion." Cardan's eyes become engrossed with the outside world for a moment," But I believe otherwise. I'm convinced that our world, like for most humans, threatened to consume her and she ran away to start anew. Our ways are not for everyone you see. We fae are naturally violent and bloodthirsty. Our hedonistic lifestyles have lead many of then to abandoned their offspring to other faeries or creatures a like to look after them. Even at times switching us with human babies so that their parents can supply us with love and affection."

We stay silent, even as Cindee brings us our check and I hand her the money to pay. She returns with my change and I leave her a tip beneath the now empty sugar canister.

Cardan doesn't turn away instead he waits patiently for me to react or say anything. I don't do either but just sit there. My phone rings and Cardan's face finally breaks to retrieve my buzzing device. Its Taryn.

I quickly text back a response. Mom had told her that I left with some friends to go eat out before a party. She's making sure I meet up with her and that I wear something appropriate. I send her a snarky response and an illusive idk. Taryn quickly texts me back to no be lame and the time she expects me to be there. She's at a friend house getting ready it seems.

"I gotta go. Everyone's expecting me attend a kickback or whatever." I reach for my stuff and get up to leave. It takes a minute for me to go outside and process what he said. I'm not sure if the story sounds familiar or if it's a warning of what's to come if I choose to continue down this path.

Path? What am I going on a soul quest? No! I'm 17 and a senior in high school, waiting to go to college and figure out my life here. Nothing's changed. Except I met this weird boy whose definitely been stalking me for several months now. Sending me messages via pinecones and holding mybhand carrying my bag. The first part is off but the rest of it isn't anything new. I mean I've had boyfriends before that would do that stuff. Like Collin, he did that all the time before we broke up over the summer before college. Why I am worried about boy or whatever he is? This is dumb, my feminist foremothers did not--

"Jude are you okay?" Mara asks and I practically jump out of my skin.

While I was silently tail spinning, Mara and Katie happen to be going by. I'm not sure what I looked like, standing outside the Moonlight diner, staring at the void as all this new stuff came crashing down on me. But nonetheless, I'm glad they showed up when they did.

Katie and Mara share a moment before asking me where I'm headed. Katie's eyes narrow down at my backpack and she questions me about it. Just then, the last person that I wanted to be there decided to catch up with me. My friends do not hide their ogling as he butts in.

"Whose this?" Mara asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh this? This is Car-rigan. He's my new next door neighbor." Katie's sniper eyes move from my backpack back to me and then Cardan. Mara repeats the name that she was just given and Cardan promptly nods.

"That's what I'm called. It's a family name." Katie doesn't seem to buy it and asks where does he live because its obvious my family lives in every secluded area. "Its a hard to find but I can assure you it's back there."

They offer to give us a lift, that way we can all wait and leave for the party at the same time. I'm about to refuse until Cardan accepts their offer. As we get into the car, I worry if the amount of iron will kill him. But he seems unbothered by it for the most part. He reaches for my hand. I reflexively pull it way, still shaken by our conversation.

When we get to my door, they're surprised to see him follow me out. They offer to take him home but I decline. I'm surprised when they pull away, they text me that they were heading to moonlight diner for some grub anyway and just to text them when we were ready. Mara sent me a wink in our group chat and I had a hard time understanding what she meant.

Surprise surprise, my dad was out back. It was already dark but there was an half empty pizza box on the table. Typical. Cardan looked around, mystified by it all. There were drawings and portraits scattered throughout the house with pictures of all of us even Vivi. Recently there was a one of her and her girlfriend Heather on the fridge. Dad had wondered aloud if she should be included in our family Christmas card. Mom pointed out that we never had a family Christmas card.

"Yeah, it's an eclectic mix of bohemian meets OCD. It's like mom likes the idea of chaos but lives for rigid order. Don't get mud on the carpet, she'll skin you alive and show all her friends her rare pearl prince throw rug in the spring. "

I tell Cardan to wait there as I go upstairs. But I hear my dad call my name from the back porch and I grab Cardan's hand and race with him up the stairs. I shove him in my room and lean over the banister with a 'yeah dad?'. Dad pokes his head through the door way but doesn't move to join me. He thought it was me when he saw me through the window and he offers me pizza. From here I can just make out the graying temples of his hair, most men in his family gray early. He pushes his glasses that he seems to use more of now in older age, his olive skin with a smattering of freckles that make him seem younger than he is. Dad smiles and asks about my day. I give him mostly sincere answers and he tell me a bit about his. I'm trying not dance in panic because theres a boy/magical prince in my room. Dad doesn't catch on and waves me off to get ready. He informs me that mom is out with her friends so she's more than likely to come home buzzed and forgetful about curfew. Dad shrugs playfully and I giggle at his cleverness. The old man has it figured out.

When I hear the door close, watching dad's retreating figure return to his converted barn through the back porch window, I race back to my room. Cardan is casually sifting through my things, bauble earrings are threaded in his lobes and my knitted crown sits right above his head.

"You know it's really unfair how attractive you still manage to be when quite clearly look silly." I finally drop my bag and jump to lay on the bed. Cardan removes the earrings but not the crown before sitting beside me. In a flash I rip it off and replace it the hat from before. This time without tucking his ears. I nod at my handy work and lay down. Cardan doesn't move. At first. Eventually he moves to lay beside me, put feet dangling off the side of the bed.

"Now what?" Cardan asks but stay fixated on the ceiling. If I were to turn, there's no question what i would do. I would behave illogical as most girls would have done. But I Jude Duarte have no time to act illogical.

"This whole afternoon just came out of left field. It was unexpected. A pleasant un-expectation. Though I can't let it happen again." My voice sounds different but it's the tone I need to convey right now.

"Jude, look at me." Cardan's voice is soft but there's an edge to it like my own.

"If I do," I keep myself focused on this one spot above me, " will you kiss me?"

"If you allow me to do so, yes."

For a moment we don't move, my chest barely rising up and down nor do I hear the breathing of his. It almost startles me when Cardan begins to talk again. He's waving a thin piece of black almost gossamer fabric above me and I recognize what it is.

"Why did you keep this? I had earnestly believed this meant nothing to you. Just a simple bandage." He is about to toss it when I take it from him, his fingers quick to tangle with mine. "Jude?" Cardan asks softly.

I close my eyes as I admit "After the night, when I woke up in my room. I kept it as a reminder that that night was real. In case I ever forgot to keep my word."

"A reminder of my favor." There's a dulcet tone to his voice as he says my name again but I stay fixed upon the ceiling. It isn't until he start to kiss my fingers, palms then wrists. The controlled yet hungry manner he rolls up till we see chest to chest and he buries his hands in my hair.

For a moment, I allow myself to be young foolish and illogical. But even I have a hard time swallowing that lie.

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the--sad--hatter · 6 years ago

Text

Phantom Pain (27)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - Bucky X Reader

WARNINGS - Bad Habits and Rough Sex, Angsty and Dark AF.

DESCRIPTION - Everybody in the world knew of you, but not who you really were. Some called you a vigilante, some called you a criminal and some called you a hero but all of them called you The Phantom.

Only two people knew your real identity and they swore to never tell anyone but when The Avengers need to infiltrate a high-security facility, Bruce Banner deduces that you’re the only one who can pull it off. That decision puts you and Bucky Barnes on a path you can’t turn back from, even if neither of like where it’s leading.

Series Masterlist

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Killer

You were dangerously close to being late for work as you hurriedly rushed down the stairs, your hair still slightly damp as you hurriedly buttoned your blouse.

Bucky had found the gym equipment you had set up where the pews had been in the original church and was making use of it. You blindly wandered towards the makeshift kitchen you’d set up, eyes transfixed on the way his abs were clenching and contacting as he did one armed pull ups on the metal bars.

Thoughts of lateness were brushed aside as you reached for the coffee pot, your fingers brushing across the hot coffee cup you had assumed was his but you didn’t take your coffee the same way and judging by the colour of the coffee, this was yours. It was such a tiny little act, almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things but the easy domesticity and thoughtfulness of it made your heart pitter pat in your chest.

You picked it up and smiled over at him, seeing that you were looking he winked and picked up the pace, showing off.

The sound of your laughter drifted over to him and the sight of you standing there, barefoot and bathed in golden light as you smiled brightly and held the coffee he’d made for you filled his chest with warmth. For so long his life had been about fighting, seventy years of conflict, pain, torture, redemption and loss. And now there was you, a woman he thought was beautiful inside and out who’d fought through your own issues just to give him a chance and you were smiling at him.

“I’m going to be late.” You said, but you weren’t moving.

“I’ll get my stuff so you can lock up your secret base behind us. Eat something, I’ll shower.” He said, dropping easily to the floor.

“You can lock up. You’re already in the system, you have the same clearance here as you do at the compound.” You told him.

He looked at you in surprise.

“Stark set this place up? Do we all have access?” He asked.

“He did, and no. It was just Bruce and Snark until a few days ago when I asked him to add you into the security system matrix or whatever it’s called.” You laughed.

“I can’t believe you ever fooled us into thinking you were a hacker.” He laughed, trying to get a handle on the growing emotions flowing through him at the knowledge you’d accepted him into your life so thoroughly.

“I’m a good liar. You should maybe, if you wanted that is, you could move some stuff here. Weapons and things I mean. It’s a good base and you might need to use it at some point.” You stammered nervously.

It was the straw that broke the camels back for Bucky. He strutted towards you like a man on a mission and you barely had time to put your coffee down safely before he descended on you, sweeping you into his arms and kissing you like his life depended on it. Ignoring the fact he was sweaty and you were freshly showered you threw your arms around him and kissed him back with as much passion as he was showing.

“I’m really really going to be late.” You said but instead of pulling away, you tightened your grip on him.

“Then you should go.” He said, not moving at all.

“Hmm.” You agreed.

Your phone started ringing obnoxiously and your groaned, headbutting his shoulder gently and he chuckled and pulled it out of your pocket and handed it to you.

“Yes Matt?” You answered drily.

“Your penthouse sold for the asking price, do you want me to straight ahead and transfer those funds into the Hercules Foundation?” He said without preamble.

“It’s been on the market for like five days, how did it sell…. Oh. Snark. Hold off on that for now.” You instructed.

“Ok, I also have the contracts for the new science division drawn up for you to look over and Foggy wants to go over the terminations of the government contracts with you.” He said.

“I’m on my way into the office, send Foggy over.” You sighed.

“I’ll tell him to bring a lot of coffee with him.” Matt remarked and hung up on you.

“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full.” Bucky noted.

“Yeah… I really do. Who knew dismantling a company and rebuilding it as a charity foundation would be so difficult?” You joked.

“You did, but you did it anyway. You knew it would be difficult and you decided to take it on without hesitating and you invested your personal fortune into it.” He said, not even trying to hide the admiration in his voice.

You blushed and started searching for your shoes that you knew were somewhere around. Bucky coughed to get your attention and held them out to you. You grinned and kissed him on the cheek as you grabbed them and slipped them on.

“Have a good day at work Domniţă.” He told you, chuckling as you tried to get out of the door while Frank, who’d jumped down from the rafters bit at your heels.

“I’ll see you at home tonight, take this asshole back to the compound with you?” You asked and he nodded at you.

You finally made your escape and ran for the car that was parked in an old shed, reminding yourself with every step that Foggy was heading towards your office and you couldn’t turn around.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As soon as you stepped out of the elevator you knew something was wrong. Foggy had unsurprisingly beaten you there and was stood in front of your office door, whispering into his phone, stress and concern pouring off of him.

“She’s here, gotta go.” He whispered and hung up the phone.

“Good morning!” He greeted you, a little too loud and a little too cheerfully.

“What’s wrong?” You asked suspiciously.

“What? Nothing. Just need to go over these contracts with you.” He said.

You narrowed your eyes at him and shook your head at his odd behaviour, reaching past him to open your office door. He pushed your hand away quickly and stood in front of the handle, blocking it.

“Foggy.” You warned.

“Let’s go get breakfast? Have you had any? Lets get a second breakfast, you know, like Hobbits? A business breakfast.” He rambled, sweating nervously.

You lost your patience and gently but firmly pushed past him and into your office. You gasped at the sight as soon as you did. The office was exactly as you had left it. Almost.

Along the wall, behind your desk there was a message.

KILLER. Written in what you hoped was red paint, above large picture of you. You saw that your eyes had been scratched out and the same red paint had been used to draw a line across your throat.

“It was here when I arrived. I called Matt, he’s on his way.” Foggy said apologetically.

“Tell him not to come.” You whispered.

Bile rose up your throat and you felt light headed. Someone had been in here, bypassing the first class security system and leaving a clear threat for you. You felt violated and though you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, there were the first stirrings of fear in your gut.

You didn’t want Bucky to find out about this, or any of The Avengers to be honest but especially Bucky. You knew with absolute certainty that he would worry, he would act over-protective and probably hunt down whoever had done this and dispose of them. You didn’t want to put him through this. You didn’t want him to feel the way you did right now.

But if you didn’t tell Bucky and he found out, he’d feel betrayed. And he’d want to be able to help you with this, you knew that. Besides, there was nobody you trusted more. So you did the smart thing and you called him.

One hour and forty minutes later one of the admins stepped out of the elevator with a pile of papers she needed you to look over and frowned.

“Miss King? Is everything alright?” She asked.

You and Foggy looked up from where you were working in the reception area of your office.

“Everything’s fine. I just have some decorators in my office at the moment.” You lied easily, holding out your hands for the papers.

As soon as the elevator doors closed with the admin inside again Bucky stepped out of your office with a stony expression.

“It’s not paint.” He said and you gulped.

“Blood?” You asked, knowing what the answer would be and he nodded.

“Do you have any idea who might have a grudge against you?” He asked, clenching his jaw.

“Plenty of people.” You said coldly.

“No, they have grudges against your father not you.” Foggy corrected.

“Well, he’s dead and I’m not.” You pointed out.

“Fear not Princess, whoever the scum was who did this we shall find and destroy them for you.” Thor boomed from the office.

“Thanks Thor.” You called.

Thor had tagged along when Bucky had asked Loki to come. Whoever it was had snuck into a highly secure building unseen and entered a locked office without leaving a trace. The God Of Mischief was someone that Bucky wanted working this with him.

The elevator dinged again and Bucky sighed and stepped back into the office.

“Miss King, The Washington Post are calling again, so is The New Yorker.” The front desk secretary said, the poor woman looking frazzled.

“Just, tell them… I don’t know, tell them I’ll call them back tomorrow to arrange something. Tell anyone who calls the same thing and make a note and email me.” You said, sighing heavily.

“Yes Miss King.” She said and scampered back into the elevator.

“You need an assistant.” Foggy remarked as Bucky came back out of the office.

Bucky had said the same thing last night. You needed your own Pepper Potts.

“That’s it, all other business is being pushed back until I can find an assistant. Or three.” You remarked, thinking about just how much work you had to get through.

“Princess! If you require assistance I know of someone who can help you!” Thor yelled, practically bounding out of the office.

“You? You know someone?” You asked in befuddlement.

“A dear friend of mine who is experienced in assisting other with such matters and she recently told me she wants to move back to New York now that Jane has a new job in Germany. She is most trustworthy.” Thor assured.

“Sure, what the hell. She’s hired.” You shrugged throwing your hands up in exasperation.

“As your lawyer I advise that you should probably get her name and do an Interview.” Foggy said nervously, unable to take his eyes off of Thor.

“It’s fine, I trust Thor.” You said.

“A horrible decision.” Loki called from inside the office.

Thor smiled brightly and took your hand in his much larger one.

“I believe you and Lady Darcy will get along, she is a woman of the same calibre as yourself.” Thor assured.

“So she’s a manipulative, sassy genius? I love her already.” You decided.

“I can find no signs of magical tampering.” Loki announced, joining the rest of you in the reception.

“I combed through the security footage, there was nothing out of the ordinary. There was no signs of a break in on the office door or windows.” Bucky told you, looking put out and more than a little furious.

“So whoever it was just walked through the wall?” You asked, sighing heavily.

“It would appear so.” Loki said, looking at you curiously.

“I need to talk to you.” You said to Bucky and he nodded, looking around for somewhere other than the office to take you.

“Come on.” You said, stomping into the office.

You were not going to be chased out of your own space by whoever it was.

“What is it?” He asked, closing the door behind him.

You didn’t answer right away, too busy staring at the mutilated picture of yourself until Bucky stood in front of it with a growl of anger.

“My fa… Alexander King… the fake… I’m just going to refer to him as The Imposter. The Imposter didn’t know I was the Phantom Bucky. He was surprised by it. I think there’s another Phantom and I think they were hunting him and now that he’s dead, they’ve moved onto me.” You admitted.

“Another Phantom?”

“Yes. I don’t think I was the first person to go into that Chamber.” You said.

He pulled something from under his shirt and handed it to you. It was the same Vibranium Knife that The Imposter had tried to kill you with.

“You don’t go anywhere without this.” Bucky instructed as you tentatively took it from him.

You reluctantly nodded.

“There’s something else, something I have to tell you.” Bucky said.

“God, what now?” You asked in trepidation.

He smirked and yanked you forward, into his chest.

“I made us dinner reservations for tonight. That is, if you’ll agree to go on a date with me Domniţă?”

You smiled up at him as he tried to mask the nervous look in his eyes behind a charming grin.

“Bucky… every reason I had for closing myself off turned out to be fake. My whole life has been one big conspiracy. It’s all secrets and lies. Except you. You’re the only thing that’s safe and the only things that’s certain.” You told him, reaching up onto your tiptoes to kiss him.

“Is that a yes?” He checked.

“That’s an absolutely, of course, I would love nothing more.” You promised.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You guys still with me? I haven't driven you away with mushy romance or plot twists?

@drdorkus @gravedollie666 @sadsoldat @bigplantdaddy @moodyruth @likes-to-smell-books @shirukitsune @inquisitor-selvala @myfandomlife-blog @markusstraya @adeleoctobre @vajeenparty @sexyvixen7 @love-nakamura @buckitybarnes @littledeadrottinghood @pinkisokay @jsmith509 @brownlee-22 @angieptt @thosesexytexasboys @liveonce-sodoitright @tarastudiesalot @spnrvt @dahkness @dilaila95 @rororo06 @mizzzpink @release-the-cathyrchkn @thefridgeismybestie @fairislesheets @strangersstranger @life-wanderer @uuuuuuuuggggghhh @curiositykilledthepepe @musingpredilection @boxofteenageideas @thelostallycat @demonlover87 @cutie1365 @mcuthemusical @caroldanvers616 @chipilerendi @scarlettswxtch @undiscovered-misunderstood @itsmejessicasstuff @musingsofafangirlblog @moli1497 @deathofmissjackson @slxyangel

#hattersmarvelverse #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #Avengers x Reader

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puroresu-musings · 6 years ago

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MY TOP 5 WRESTLERS OF 2018

1a, KAZUCHIKA OKADA: The best big match worker this side of Kenta Kobashi had another outstanding in-ring year. Whilst not quite as phenomenal as his 2017, The Rainmaker showed he’s still the best around. Lets just take a look at some of the highlights of his year: Surprisingly defeated Tetsuya Naito in the main event (and best match) of WK12. Rolled over SANADA in what was up to that point, the best match I’d ever seen Cold Skull in on February 10th. Put an end to Zack Sabre Jr’s incredible winstreak by beating him in a technical masterclass at Ryogoku Kokugikan on April 1st. Made history by becoming the first person to reach 12 successful defences of the IWGP Heavyweight Title, by defeating former record holder Hiroshi Tanahashi in another classic on May 4th. Finally dropped the belt after a superb two-year reign on June 9th, when he lost an epic 2 out of 3 falls match to Kenny Omega in one of the greatest wrestling matches ever. Had an excellent 30 minute draw with Minoru Suzuki in the midst of a monstrous typhoon on June 23rd, which was miraculous given the conditions. Put ZSJ over clean in another excellent match in the UK on July 1st. Was the standout competitor of the A Block in the G1, which culminated in another ***** classic with Tanahashi on August 10th at Budokan Hall, and another on September 23rd in Kobe which was even better. Defeated Marty Scurll in a great All In encounter on September 1st in Chicago, and was on the losing end of a tremendous tag outing with Tomohiro Ishii against The Golden Lovers in Long Beach on September 30th. I think it’s pretty safe to say that his WK13 match with Jay White will likely be the best of Switchblade’s career, and that his place at the top of the NJPW mountain is safe for sme time to come.

1b, KENNY OMEGA: Coming in joint first place, The Best Bout Machine had another fanatstic year. He beat Chris Jericho in a tremendous brawl at WK12, which exceeded expectations. Dropped the US Title to Jay White in a great outing on January 28th, but was turned on by Cody, which saw he and Kota Ibushi reunite as The Golden Lovers. The Lovers would go on to have numerous exceptional tag matches throughout the year, most notably against The Young Bucks in a fantastic bout based around storytelling on March 25th in Long Beach, a Korakuen Hall classic against Ishii and Ospreay in September, Okada and Ishii, again in Long Beach on September 30th, and on the final New Japan show of 2018 against Tanahashi and Ospreay on December 15th, which was probably the best doubles clash of 2018. Finally defeated Okada to win the IWGP Heavyweight belt in a truly superb 2/3 falls match at Dominion on June 9th, which was the best match of either man’s career. First succesful defense against Cody in San Franscisco was an insane brawl in which he suffered a broken heel. Had a fantastic G1, despite the injury, and had killer matches in the B Block with the likes of Naito, Goto, SANADA, Ishii and others, before finally losing the Block to BFF Ibushi in a blow-away match on August 11th at a sold out Budokan Hall. Beat the artist sometimes known as Pentagon Jr in a fab outing at All In. Defended the IWGP Title in another war against Tomohiro Ishii in Hiroshima on September 15th, and in a 3-Way at Ryogoku Kokugikan on October 8th against Ibushi and Cody in another great match. The upcoming WK13 Main Event against Tanahashi on January 4th is almost guaranteed to be a classic.

2. HIROSHI TANAHASHI: The legend would have possibly ranked first in this list, had the first half of his year been as consistent as the second, and had he not been hampered by injuries. Beat Jay White in a good match at WK12, which was hurt by a lack of crowd heat. Dropped the Intercontinental Title to Minoru Suzuki on January 27th via stoppage in a fanatastic bout built around storytelling. Took a couple of months off to rehab his injured knee, and returned in the New Japan Cup, making it all the way to the finals on March 21st, where he lost an excellent match to Zack Sabre Jr. With the exception of a losing effort to Okada on May 4th in an outstanding contest, spent the rest of the year up until the G1 in tags. He looked to be ‘passed his best’ in these months, then was resurgegent like a pheonix from the ashes in the G1 Climax, and despite certain physical limitions, appeared to be back to the Tanahashi of old. Looked amazing in the Climax, which he ultimately won, beating Ibushi in the finals which was another classic. Successfully defended the briefcase against Okada in his fourth ***** of the year on Sept 23rd, and Jay White in an excellent showing on October 8th. Ended 2018 in the years best tag match on December 15th in a Dream Tag with Ospreay taking on Omega and Ibushi. Whilst maybe not as flashy, or consistently as amazing a wrestler from month to month as the others on the list, the veteran always pulls it out of the bag on the big stage (i.e. when he needs to), and when it comes to emotional investment, The Ace is truly unmatched.

3, TOMOHIRO ISHII: The Stone Pitbull proved once again that he is one of the most consistent, and underrated, workers on the planet. Started the year by winning the NEVER 6 Man Titles with Toru Yano and Beretta in an entertaining gauntlet match at WK12, though the team dropped the belts the next night to the Bullet Club Tongan Squad. Lost a fantastic first round New Japan Cup bout to Michael Elgin on March 9th, but rebounded by pinning the on-the-push Zack Sabre Jr and winning the British Heavyweight Title at the Rev Pro show in New Orleans on April 6th, in another great outing. Successfully defended the belt against Keith Lee in an amazing contest in London on May 11th. Teamed with Okada in Long Beach on March 25th to lose a great outing to Zack Sabre Jr and Minoru Suzuki, whom he would ultimately spend the rest of the year seemingly trying to kill in a blood feud. The teams rematched in a fantastic British Tag Title Match on June 30th in Milton Keyens, which again saw the CHAOS duo lose, then Ishii dropped the British Title to Suzuki the next night in Manchester in an all-out war. He came into the G1 with all guns blazing, having absolutely phenomenal outings with Naito, Goto, Ibushi, ZSJ, Juice Robinson, SANADA and even scored a clean win over Kenny Omega on August 4th in Osaka in one of the best matches of either man’s respective careers, and the years second best match. He left the G1 having pinned every champion he faced, and recieved a shot at Omega’s IWGP Title on September 15th, which he ultimately lost. Regained the British Heavyweight Title from Suzuki on October 14th in another killer brawl in London, then vanquished The Ill-Natured Man again in a superbly stiff war in Osaka on November 3rd. Ishii is set to defend the belt against Zack Sabre Jr at Tokyo Dome, which should be another quality bout.

4, KOTA IBUSHI: With his unwavering ability to seemingly work any style, The Golden Star had a stellar year. It began with him defeating Cody in an excellent grudge match at Wrestle Kingdom. He reformed the Golden Lovers with Kenny Omega at the end of january, and had numerous jaw-dropping tag team outings throughout the year, the most underrated (and possibly best) of which is their outstanding win against Ishii and Ospreay at Korakuen Hall on September 7th. Put Cody over in a great match on May 3rd in Fukuoka, then was pretty much stuck in Bullet Club limbo, until he charged out of the blocks with a superb G1 run. Had phenomenal, and completely different matches in the Climax with pretty much everyone. He defeated Zack Sabre Jr in a mat-based classic on July 15th, pinned Juice Robinson in a great match on July 19th, carried Toru Yano to his best match in some years on the 21st, then had the best match of SANADA’s career on the 26th. Things only got better from there as he had two phenomenal, but genuinely frightening, matches with Ishii and Tetsuya Naito, both of which he won. Defeated partner Omega in a Budokan classic to win the B Block, before falling to eventual winner Tanahashi in one of the top three greatest G1 finals in history. Helped tear the house down in the all-action All In six man main event. Ended 2018 by defeating Hirooki Goto to win the NEVER Openweight Title in a great match on December 9th, and is set to defend the title against Will Ospreay at the Dome, which could be one of the most amazing matches you’ll ever see.

5, WILL OSPREAY: The 25 year old Ariel Assassin had his best in-ring year yet in 2018. Won the IWGP Jr Title in a fantastic four way with Marty Scurll, Hiromu Takahashi and KUSHIDA at WK12. Defended the title against Hiromu in an amazing, if somewhat scary, high flying match in Osaka on February 10th. Held his own against Okada en route to a Rainmaker induced defeat in a choice showing at the 46th Anniversary Show on March 6th. Was a late replacement for an injured Rey Mysterio and had an excellent showing against living legend Jushin Thunder Liger on March 25th in Long Beach. Nearly paralysed and/or killed himself in his amazing defence against Scrull at Sumo Hall on April 1st, which was one of the years best. Defeated KUSHIDA on May 4th in a fantastic bout, was laid out by Taiji Ishimori in the post-match, and sebsequently lost to the new Bone Soldier in the opening round of the BOSJ on May 18th. Was consistently great in the BOSJ, especially in contests with the likes of ACH, BUSHI and Flip Gordon. Dropped the belt to Takahashi in an incredible outing at Dominion, then tempered his style somewhat due to recurring injuries. Had truly tremendous matches with opponents as diverse as WALTER, Matt Riddle, and El Phantasmo in Europe and beyond. Lost to Scurll in another really great match in Long Beach on September 30th. Was likley going to win the NEVER strap in the Autumn, but had to pull out of the tour due to a rib injury. Carried Taichi’s worthles ass to an excellent, ****+ match on December 9th, which was a miracle. Has been lighting up tag matches with Ibushi all year, and their upcoming NEVER Title Match on January 4th will likely be one for the ages.

MY TOP 5 MATCHES OF 2018

1, Kazuchika Okada vs. Kenny Omega (2/3 Falls IWGP Heavyweight Title Match, June 9th, *****+)

2, Kenny Omega vs. Tomohiro Ishii (G1 Climax, Aug 4th, *****)

3, Hiromu Takahashi vs. Taiji Ishimori (BOSJ Final, June 3rd, *****)

4, Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kota Ibushi (G1 Climax Final, Aug 12th, *****)

5, Kazuchika Okada vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (IWGP Heavyweight Title Match, May 4th, *****)

NDT

#kazuchika okada #kenny omega #hiroshi tanahashi #tomohiro ishii #kota ibushi #will ospreay #hiromu takahashi #taiji ishimori #njpw #new japan pro wrestling #puroresu #wrestling #wwe #revpro #morpheus #ott #over the top wrestling #revolution pro wrestling

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johnpblue · 6 years ago

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10 Ways to Live More Sustainably

What do Natural, DIY bloggers talk about in the car? Usually stuff like this:

“How many simple sustainable living tips can you list? GO!”

It took only a few minutes to come up with this list of 10 ideas; some we’ve covered before, but they’re always worth mentioning again.

If you’re scratching your head about what living a sustainable lifestyle means and why it’s important, consider these manifest advantages.

Using less resources – The ability to be sustained in certain areas of life means that you’re not depleting resources. Whether you’re concerned with saving trees, using less energy, or saving water, sustainable habits will support these (and many more) natural resources.

Eliminating harmful chemicals in your home – When you begin “going green” or learning how to make more of your own products at home, you are reducing the chances that harmful chemicals will be present in things your family uses. Your family’s health is no longer compromised by chemical-laden products and the earth is protected from the disposal of these chemicals.

Saving money – Learning to live sustainably almost always results in savings. Sometimes huge savings! When you are relying more on yourself and less on large companies to provide life’s essentials, the profit-driven middle man is removed from the equation. A more sustainable mindset will also cause you to reconsider purchasing certain products or services you once thought were absolutely necessities.

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Simplifying – Sustainability is about checking out the big picture. Do I really need this big house, or could we create a happy home in less square footage? Do I absolutely need a closet full of this season’s latest fashions, or can I be creative with a few wardrobe staples? Do my kids need a room full of toys, or could they survive on one toy chest full? Should we take a trip to the amusement park or spend the time planting our garden? These are questions that quickly come into perspective when your goal is sustainability. You need less, buy less, spend less, and ultimately want less.

Creating less waste – When you purchase less and make more of your own products, far less packaging is used. Have you noticed how companies go so overboard with packaging? Sustainability promotes using what you have until it can’t be used anymore, recycling, and purchasing used.

Increasing personal skills/knowledge – Living sustainably always comes with great lessons. Have you ever researched specific ingredients so you could prepare more healthful food? Or found and followed a great do-it-yourself tutorial? Your personal skills and knowledge base grow each time you take steps in sustainability. 10 Sustainable Living Tips

Compare this list against your curent practices and challenge yourself to tackle one at a time.

We’re depending on YOU to help advance the sustainable revolution.

1. Bring your own water bottle

I’m starting with one of the easiest things you can do to save resources, create less waste, and save money. If you’re still buying bottled water, take a trip to the store and check the oodles of great reusable water bottles on the market. We don’t go ANYWHERE without our BPA free Nalgene water bottles. Get into the habit of treating your reusable water bottle like your purse or your wallet. Make sure it goes to work, school, and around town with you.

2. Use handkerchiefs instead of tissues

I recently wrote about my transition to hankies and caused quite a flurry of controversy. The issue of germs becomes a barrier for some, but can be easily remedied by keeping clean hankies on hand and putting soiled hankies in directly into the laundry or a reusable wet bag to avoid spreading germs. This sustainable practice saves money, uses less resources, and creates less (germy) waste around the house.

3. Bring your own shopping bags

Don’t just take your reusable shopping bags to the grocery store…take them everywhere. Haul them to the Farmer’s Market, the Dollar Store, the hardware store, or even GoodWill. Have you seen the documentary “Bag It,” about the impact plastic bag usage has on the environment and our health? After watching this documentary, Matt and I won’t even use the little plastic produce bags.

Make a small investment in a few shopping bags and reusable produce bags that will last several years, or better yet, make your own! How do I solve the problem of standing in line at the store and realizing I forgot my bags in the car? I have a set of Chico Bags that stuff into a tiny ball when not in use, and sit in the bottom of my purse so I always have them. Don’t carry a purse? Keep your bags in a place you will see them and remember to take them with you.

4. Reusable cloths instead of paper towel

We used to go through enormous packages of paper towel in our wasteful heyday. Those enormous packages have an equally enormous price tag. And it all gets thrown away! Ugh! Make a switch to reusable cloths…microfiber towels, cotton dishrags, or even old t-shirt squares. Keep a stack of towels in drawers or baskets around the house, making them easily accessible when family members need to clean up a mess. If you can’t commit to eliminating paper towels completely, hide your paper towels (so you’re not as inclined to use them) and see if you can get by without them for MOST things. Read more about using less paper products in your house.

Read Full Article Here: 10 Ways to Live More Sustainably

#natural life #sustainable living #eco-friendly lifestyle

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quintessence-sentimentalist · 7 years ago

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From 10 to 20

10, 11, 15, 17, and 19 have already been answered, but the rest are below!

12. Will and Matt’s relationship?

…You ever have those pairings where you don’t really put the energy into shipping them, but you’re also not keen on shipping them with anyone else? Because that’s pretty much where I stand with comic Will/Matt at this point.

Look, their cartoon counterparts? The crown jewel in my carefully curated collection of OTPs. I adore them so much and season 2 really made their relationship a compelling story. Now in the comics, I used to like them well enough because they were one of the main relationships in the series, slowly gathering traction since issue #1. Will was my favorite growing up, so naturally I wanted her to be happy, and Matt seemed like a good, nice guy worth her affection. I was eager for the day when they’d end up together, and hopefully Will would tell him the truth and clear up any weird past behavior.

I think the fatal flaw with this relationship is the fact that they took too damn long to get them to a good place, and threw in way too many conflicts on the road leading up to (and during) their relationship. We got a fakeout of Will revealing all in issue #20 (when their relationship was still tenuous because of Matt jumping to conclusions regarding Will hanging out with other guys), and it took twenty more issues before we got any real payoff. So maybe forty issues isn’t so bad for a will-they/won’t-they relationship, but it’s clear from the beginning that Will is interested in Matt, and he seems to return her feelings; they just dragged it all out with at least three storylines where one or both let their actions be ruled by jealousy (not to mention Astral Drop Will) and set them back even further. You just never knew where they stood this week – one issue they’d be crushing on each other, and the next they’d be at odds again because of a misunderstanding. I’m not saying couples have to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time, but when you’re rehashing the same plot points multiple times to keep them apart before they can officially become a couple? Not a good sign.

So issue #40 rolls around, I rejoice, and… things don’t get much easier moving on from that. They’re a couple now and it’s cute, but the fact that Matt’s now in-the-know is its own conflict. But it eventually resolves, and Matt gets to take part in running damage control when the girls are away (listen I live for this as much as I do for battle couple scenarios) and they get to be a cute couple for a few issues and it’s all adorable.

And then the Ludmoore arc happens and Matt gets sucked into the book partway through. They get him back, and then he decides to tour with Karmilla. And then the New Power arc happens and I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole and a hazmat suit.

The thing about Will/Matt is that they had so much potential, but they just ended up being the couple where nothing ever goes right and the narrative just wants to keep tearing them apart for The Drama. I think we really only had around 10 issues of them as an official couple sharing the same space – they were still together both times Matt was away but we never got to see them together. And by the time they’re sharing the page again Matt’s entire characterization has been put through a meat grinder and spat back out something unrecognizable.

I’m going to curb my tangent here because it already got out of hand, and end with this: I still feel protective about Will/Matt because of all the things it could (and should) have been, but the majority of their canon relationship can just flounce on off.

13. Caleb and Cornelias breakup?

Well, another one that I don’t think was handled very well in canon. To be honest, I wasn’t as invested in these two as I was with Will/Matt, probably because they were technically an official couple right away (even though the majority of their development can be summed up as “I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream”). Alright, cool, these two are going to be a thing, I can roll with that, whatever.

Then we get flower Caleb and the interlude between the first and second arc (which I still very much dislike), and then they’re separated until Caleb ends up in trouble again, and when they’re reunited right before a battle Cornelia decides it’s the most opportune time to reveal her true form, and her youth is off-putting to Caleb as if the Guardian form is the only one of value.

I’d say this is another relationship plagued by primarily one-sided views on the relationship rather than the duo together, as well as being a relationship framed primarily by conflict and battle. So much of their narrative is how much Cornelia loves Caleb and everything she’s willing to do to get him back and protect him, and a couple moments like this on Caleb’s end too. But when we see both of them together, it’s always in moments of crisis – even when Caleb returns to life and they kiss, they’re being held in Kandrakar for treason. They never get a moment to actually sit down and get to know each other in a moment of peace, to air out any concerns or crucial bits of information they feel the other should know before they go all-in with their love epic.

I ended up doing a better summary here of how things could have gone if they still wanted to do a break-up arc but leave the door open for a later reunion, or just develop this relationship beyond destiny and battle. But even if we look solely at their relationship as it was in canon, the break-up was poorly executed because it was done without regard to Caleb’s actual characterization. After considerable time framing him as the romantic hero, the narrative spins him as the tactless jerk solely for dramatic purposes. Maybe it could be passed off as a point that neither of them know the other as well as they think they do, but I find it incredibly hard to believe that Caleb’s always had this side of his personality and just kept it under wraps.

So let’s play with that idea a little bit more—keep the circumstances behind the breakup the same, but think on what would make it more believable/flow better. If they wanted to make us believe that Caleb’s jerky behavior is actually in-character, then tease it out a little beforehand! Let Caleb’s flaws shine through a bit earlier on, build up tension that maybe CxC aren’t the fairytale romance they think themselves to be (and have convinced the readers they are). When the moment comes where Caleb sees Cornelia as something other than a fellow warrior, an equal (or even superior), and turns condescending, the reaction should be “disappointed but not surprised, the hints were there” rather than the “this was badly written without any regards to the characters” we get with the canon version.

Curbing this one here too, but long story short, if I’m coming up with ways to both salvage and decimate a doomed canon relationship, that’s a pretty bit hint that the actual breakup was Not Good.

14. BatMatt? (that time Matt revealed he’d been from kandrakar All Along)

There isn’t a scream loud enough for how much I haaaaaaaaate this development. To save ourselves some time, I’m just going to link back to my New Power rant on this post, because the earlier paragraphs of that sum up how I feel about this situation, and if I try to rehash all my anger about it from scratch we’re going to be here all day.

Long story short, Matthew Olsen never deserved to be so brutally characterization-murdered and cobbled back together into something with his face and name but nothing else recognizable.

16. Taranee and Nigel’s relationship?

Hmm, this was another one I didn’t feel too strongly about. I think they were sweet at the beginning, where Nigel was learning to show that he was a good guy despite being part of a band of delinquents.

But that’s the thing: even after Nigel split with Uriah and his crew, the narrative never let us forget that he was “the bad boy.” Judge Cook disapproves of her daughter’s relationship many issues after Nigel was last involved in trouble, purely for drama, it seems. Then Nigel’s brother—with his own criminal record—comes back, and Nigel just falls right back in line. I can’t remember what happens between that and Taranee starting at the dance academy, but then we get their explosive breakup and that’s that.

I think that’s another breakup that was poorly executed. While I love that Taranee rediscovered her love for dance, it was used too often as a source of conflict in the later arcs, starting with the breakup. I do need to reread the breakup since it’s been quite a long time, but I remember originally I was angry with Nigel for giving Taranee the “dancing or me” ultimatum. While ultimatums like that are never a good thing, it’s also horrendously out of character for Nigel, because he’s actually been a pretty darn passive character in the past. Look at his time in Uriah’s gang—while he certainly doesn’t seem to be getting a kick out of delinquency like the rest of the crew, he also doesn’t make much of a move to stop it outside of a few wary comments. Even when his brother comes back to town, he’s reluctantly tagging along and letting his brother dictate their actions. And while we’ve had some moments where he’s finally stood up for what’s right and holds his ground (see: saving Martin from Uriah), he’s never been aggressive about it.

The breakup not only features Nigel giving an ultimatum (which seems pretty hypocritical of him), but he yells at Taranee and is generally framed in an intimidating manner—he’s backed Taranee up against a tree, and makes a number of vigorous movements. This is the only time we really see Nigel as the “bad boy” archetype, and it’s solely for the purpose of this breakup, to shove more of the blame onto him than he actually holds.

Because that’s the thing—Taranee’s also at fault for this, due to some equally out-of-character actions, but since she’s one of our protagonists there can’t be too much of a negative light on that aspect, so Nigel’s role in the breakup is blown out of proportion to take more of the backlash.

If these two had actually been written in character by the time this conflict came up, I would see this going differently. While I still think Nigel would finally reach his breaking point and confront Taranee about committing all her time to dance, I think it would go down more like his previous confrontations, where he’s firm and holds his ground but isn’t aggressive about it. Let him have the courage to tell the girl for whom he’s had to prove himself multiple times that he’s feeling used and neglected, but rather than giving an ultimatum he asks for a compromise. He can deal with seeing Taranee a little bit less than usual if she’s doing something that makes her happy, but it would be nice if they can build out a little time for just the two of them. Maybe he apologizes for getting annoyed when she talks excitedly about the academy, and expresses interest in meeting her friends or stopping by to observe a class.

Taranee, on the other hand, sees where she’s at fault and works to do a better job of balancing her newly rediscovered passion with the rest of her social life, because while she might really love dancing it isn’t worth neglecting everything from before the academy. And maybe she puts in a little effort into learning more about Nigel’s interests as a fair trade, so he can tell her about something he likes rather than listening to her talk about dance for a change.

Again, another relationship that was ruined by out-of-character actions and could have easily been improved by communication.

18. Phobos?

Hrm. I’ve never particularly been into villains, and Phobos isn’t one of the exceptions, so I don’t have many strong feelings here.

I’ll admit that he does make a good villain, and was particularly crafty upon his return in the fourth arc. And I almost forget about this part, but I also thought it was interesting that we didn’t even get to see his face until, what, the seventh or eighth issue? Over halfway into the first arc, and we learned in issue #5 that he had every image of himself destroyed, and Elias was punished for daring to paint his face. I don’t think we ever got an explanation as to why Phobos didn’t want to be seen, so this is still a fascinating little detail.

20. Cedric and Orube’s relationship?

*cries*

Like with Orube alone, I need to do a closer reread later on to get more in-depth with these two, but I know for sure that they deserved so much better. And like I said in the Phobos post, I really don’t do villains, so it’s noteworthy that I grew to feel this way about Cedric.

I do like how their relationship developed, because my complaints about other canon relationships is that there’s hardly any communication. With Orube and Cedric, we don’t know in the beginning that they’ll be attracted to each other—they’re still enemies-in-law, shall we say (because neither were direct opponents before, for Orube it was more “enemy of my friend is my enemy”). I should hope that, to successfully get from this point to lovers, there would be some communication and development, which we got. They were cautious about trusting each other, but being aliens on a strange world certainly helped build the connection.

I also love how Cedric gets so flustered over Orube, whether because of her outfit or her successfully sneaking in without his knowing, and of course the cappuccino. It was refreshing to see this man defined by his schemes and deceptions get thrown off his rhythm by Orube, who isn’t even in warrior mode.

#quintessential asks #w.i.t.c.h. ask game #thanks for asking!#this is when I start yelling about what went wrong with the canon relationships

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kee-writestrashh · 6 years ago

Text

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

ao3

Summary: You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events…

Chapter 39: Blind Tiger

January melted into February. Or it would be more accurate to say melted and refroze as the snow turned to sleet and ice.

Every day seemed to make your stomach bigger, though women simpered about how tiny and cute your little baby bump was whenever you left this damn house.

But it was really starting to get in the way. Especially in the bedroom. No, Ramsay didn't say anything about it, and he never missed an opportunity to fuck you, but to you... it was just... awkward in a way. Having sex was becoming taxing, trying to find a position that wasn't uncomfortable.

But, your girls were back in the city. Ramsay seemed content. He hadn't even bitched about his boring desk job since finally returning to work. And he was no longer drowning in excessive bottles of liquor. He had cut back a lot. Ever since you killed the Targaryen. He still drank every day, just not as much. Theon Greyjoy had been spotted two days ago. However, there were only 5 short days until you found out what Baby B was. It scared you senseless. You were no closer in figuring out how to keep your husband safe.

Life at the safe house was boring. You spent half the day sleeping or reading. Charlotte came to stay with you a lot. It was nice to have another female to hang out with. You missed Liz and Kaden, but Liz was now too sick to leave her house.

She had called you the night before last and cried to you about how much pain she was in. How she regretted the idea of chemo. She should have just pushed for surgery. It hurt you to hear her so down and miserable. She was always so head strong and encouraging. You wished you knew what to do to help, anything to make her smile.

Your mother had called you a week ago, all in a dither that Eli was apparently getting married. Eli and Jeyne were going out there this weekend, so Mom and Dad could meet her. Eli had been very distant with you since that night at dinner. Not that you could blame him, but damn. You had just become cool with him again.

You had lunch a couple of times with Whit and Jared, when they didn't have to immediately get back home after their 'coffee bean' runs.

"Oh yeah, mom and dad are ectastic that we get to use our flight skills for more than just med evac. Dad said, coffee beans was a funny investment, but as long as it put money in our pockets and made us happy. Going to put Kasey in traveling cheer squad this summer. She will be so excited."

Well, at least your Sheep were prospering. Ramsay had set up the schemes to buy all the land you had wanted, and construction for new businesses were in the works. You had gotten in touch with the Martell's to grow on land your Sheep had set up, as well as building more secure labs, though marijuana was the best choice to go with, for you personally. At least it was naturally occurring. You didn't really want any part in synthetic shit, to which Ramsay begrudgingly obliged.

"What do you want to do for your boyfriend's birthday?" Ramsay asked, looking up from the laptop he had been absorbed in for the last two hours.

"What?" You asked, marking your place in the book you had been reading.

"Matt. His eighteenth birthday is tomorrow." Ramsay said, glancing at the sleet tinking on the windows.

"I dunno. I figured he and Ty would spend the day together. Thought maybe I would talk you into giving him a decent amount of money for him to blow on stupid shit." You shrugged, pulling your blanket up around you, trying to ignore the annoying urge to pee for the sixth time in the last hour and a half.

"Sure." Your husband replied, lighting a cigarette and going back to whatever it was he had been doing. Numbers by the sound of pen scratching on paper, furious muttering, and deep sighs. "It's fight night. Want to go? Thought I'd take you to dinner and then to the ring."

"Um... sure? I've never been." You shrugged, yawning and rubbing your belly.

You closed your eyes with a small smile, breathing slowly, and deeply when... it happened.

You gasped, threw your eyes open, and sat up straight.

Ramsay looked up, alarmed, half rising from his seat.

"I felt it! I felt the baby move!" You said excitedly, looking down at your belly.

"Sure it wasn't just some weird body function?" He asked, raising a brow and closing the computer.

"Positive." You said excitedly. You stared hard at your belly and gave another gasp after a few moments of silence, "yes! I can feel the baby. Oh my god."

Ramsay leaned back in his chair and watched you with a rather uncharacteristically warm expression.

You both simply stared at one another until finally Ramsay stood from his seat and gave a deep stretch like a cat.

"Were you ever good at math?" He asked, cracking his knuckles and frowning at his notebook.

"Well I can find x." You replied, knowing your answer wasn't good enough. "Why?"

"I'm missing something. A variable or... I don't know." He said slowly.

You said nothing. Finally he shook his head slightly, scratching his jaw and turning to you.

"Dinner?"

"Whatever. It's gotten to the point where as long as I eat it doesn't matter. Heartburn doesn't discriminate it seems, either. But I would really love bell peppers."

"You make my life so easy." He chuckled, walking down the hall.

You watched him leave with a grin.

"I suppose I can dress for comfort?" You called from the closet. You turned to look at Ramsay as he entered the room. His faded jeans and band shirt were enough of an answer.

"You're very fond of this old rag." You said, picking at his shirt as he pulled his leather jacket on.

He shrugged, "first concert. Met Alyn there, actually."

"Oh?" You said, pulling your hoodie on.

"Yeah. We were fourteen. Gave him a bloody nose in the mosh pit. Then I saved his life from some big dude after he got caught making out with the dudes drunk woman. Rolled one behind the venue, and the rest was history. He just kind of stuck around. Father always hated my Boys, so I kept them close. Anyways, burgers and shakes? We can buy your bell peppers on the way back home."

"Burgers and shakes sound wonderful. On one condition." You nodded, pulling your hood up and grabbing your wallet from your purse.

"What's that?" He asked, ushering you out of the house.

"The fries have to be perfect for the shakes."

"Shake fries. Maybe you could market that." He chuckled, helping you into the Jeep.

Ramsay had had the Jeep repainted, tagged, and replaced the vin number. Made you a bit sad, but, safety first, right? Right.

"So, what am I to expect?" You asked, finishing your shake.

"It'll be loud. But what's better than a few beers and watching people beat the shit out of each other? Wonder if anyone good is fighting tonight?" Ramsay said, dropping his cigarette butt out of the cracked window.

He shifted in his seat, pulling his gun and knife, sliding both under the seat. You watched him with a raised brow.

"They check at the door." He shrugged, opening his door.

You met Damon, Charlotte, Ben, and to your excitement, Kaden at the front gates.

The boy rushed you, hugging you tightly.

"Aunt (y/n)! Look!" Kaden practically shouted, pulling his cap off.

"Oh goodness. What happened to all your hair?" You asked, kneeling down and running your hand over his fuzz.

"I did it for mommy." He said, eyes bright.

You looked up at Ben who gave a half shrug and sad smile.

"Liz had a meltdown and said fuck it. Says she was gonna lose it all anyways, might as well get on with it." Ben said, hurt lacing his words.

"But can I tell you a secret?" Kaden said, motioning you closer.

"What's that, hon?" You asked quietly.

He leaned into you, "it will grow back. Just like mommy's."

You gave a small, watery laugh, realizing you were emotional, "yes. Yes it will."

"Come on son, let's get out of the cold." Ben said, as Kaden put his hat back on.

You watched the boy with a fond smile, as Ramsay laced his fingers in yours and tugged you along.

Ramsay led you to a row of seats, close to the ring. Maybe too close for your liking.

"Want something to eat or drink before I send Dame off?" Charlotte asked, sitting behind you.

"I'd love a sprite or something." You replied, glancing back at her.

"Sure thing, sweetheart." She replied.

You watched Ramsay's profile, but he seemed unemotional as his eyes scanned the crowd.

Someone fell into the seat beside you. You turned quickly to see Tyene. She smiled brightly at you as Matt sat on her other side.

You hugged her warmly, "hey."

"Hey yourself. I was excited to hear you were coming. We miss you." Tyene said, looking past you to glare at your husband.

"I miss you all. But, gotta keep this baby safe." You said, placing your hand on your belly.

"Mama was saying how cute you looked yesterday when you swung by." Tyene smiled.

"I was sad you weren't there. But, I heard you were in good hands." You grinned, watching Matt shrug out of his coat.

Tyene shrugged, but grinned broadly.

"Speaking of, what are we doing tomorrow?"

Tyene chewed her lip and gave another shrug, "dunno. Thought we would party it up tomorrow night at Alyn's club or something."

You nodded, "just text me and lemme know."

You made it through two fights before becoming slightly bored. You stole glances at your husband, who looked equally as bored, as he slouched in his seat and jiggled his foot.

You were going to suggest blowing this joint and maybe sneaking into a movie when the boredom flipped completely. But not into excitement.

The final two fighters of the night. Loras Tyrell, which meant the Tyrells and Lannisters were here. And none other than this infamous Jon Snow that your husband hated with almost as much passion as his obsession for you.

When the man took the ring, Ramsay sat up straight and rigid, eyes narrowed to cold slits, jaw clenched, and fists balled.

You caught Damon and Ben exchanged glances.

You watched how Ramsay watched this Snow guy. It was calculating and almost hungry. Like a starving wolf, in the dead of winter, watching a herd of deer run past.

You opened your mouth to say something to him but Damon made a frantic gesture with his hand, catching your eye, and shaking his head fervently.

You closed your mouth again and turned your eyes to the ring.

They were both fast, but Loras was not consistent. After three rounds, Snow had ended it.

The noise of the crowd was loud and excited as Snow was paraded around the ring in triumph by the ref. He looked solemn and uncomfortable at all the attention.

The stands had mostly cleared before Ramsay finally came back down to earth and stood, fists still balled.

You held on to your empty cup, trying to think of something to say. But what was there to say?

You followed him quietly to the lobby, where you bade Matt, Tyene, Ben, and Kaden good bye, giving Kaden about 15 extra hugs and threatened him to be a good boy for his mommy and daddy. To which he assured you he was always good.

You threw your cup away when a group of Lannisters and Tyrells pushed past you, all practically running toward the exit. It puzzled you.

You turned to Ramsay to ask if he had seen but to your surprise you found him pushing through the crowd in the other direction, Damon tearing off after him.

You exchanged a look with Charlotte and followed in their wake.

"SNOW!" Ramsay shouted, pushing people aside.

"Oh god. Please no." You sighed, hurrying to catch up to your husband.

"Bolton." Jon replied, inclining his head slightly, turning from the news crew and the red head on his arm.

"I'm calling you out." Ramsay growled.

"Baby, do you think that..." You started, halting at Ramsay's side, but stopping in midsentence as he gripped your arm and gave you a murderous look.

Jon Snow stood there, glaring at Ramsay in dislike. The woman at his side, glanced you and your husband over before leaning into Jon and whispering in his ear. He gave her a perplexed look when she pulled away and she wore an arrogant smirk, meeting your gaze.

You curled your lip and glared back at her.

"No." Jon finally spoke.

The red head rolled her eyes, turned on her heel, and stormed off.

"Pussy." Ramsay sneered, but his smirk dropped when his phone rang. "What?" He barked when he answered. His face hardened, "no. Do not engage." He hung up and turned to you, pushing you rather roughly along in front of him.

Damon gave you a look of sympathy as you were pushed past him.

Ramsay said nothing until he got to your door at the Jeep. He pushed you into the cold door and grabbed your face.

"If you ever make a fool of me like that in front of people and question my actions ever again, it will be the last thing you ever do." He hissed in so much venom that for the first time you were completely afraid of your husband. He meant it. The ice in his bite made it unmistakable.

You swallowed, dropping your eyes as the tears lined your lower lashes, "yes sir. I'm sorry. I just... I don't want you to get hurt."

Ramsay released you, running the back of his hand along your cheek. He placed his finger under your chin and pulled your face up to his. He placed a kiss to your lips, but said nothing.

"I'm taking you home, then I have to see what the fuck is going on." He helped you into your seat and slammed the door.

"Stannis." You said, remembering what Olyvar had said.

"What?" Ramsay said, glancing over at you in confusion.

"The day I met Oly at the bar to sign paperwork and went to lunch... He told me that Renly had gone into hiding and that Stannis was going to make a move on the Lannisters before the idiot boys wedding. But then I saw the Stark girl and forgot all about it. So sorry baby. I figured you'd know anyways." You said, tumbling over the words as they fell from your mouth.

Ramsay watched you as he sat there waiting on the red light to turn, lights and sirens coming from behind. He said nothing as the cop cars soared past. He cleared his throat and lit a cigarette.

"So?" You asked.

"Nothing. We will go home and that's it. As far as I am concerned neither side makes a difference to me. Maybe they will all kill each other. I have no ties to any of those cunts. Guess we will see what happens when the smoke clears tomorrow morning."

×××

"Party tonight?" You asked, looking up from Tyene's message.

Ramsay shrugged, looking up from his computer, "sure. But tell your snake we are partying my way. And I need to meet the kid at one o'clock downtown on the corner of Fifth and Kings Road."

"Um, okay? What are you doing? You've been quiet all morning." You questioned, sitting up from the couch.

"Numbers. And background cheks. This woman your brother is marrying... she's interesting."

"Interesting, huh?" You asked, with a jealous bite.

Ramsay noticed it and laughed, "jealous? Jealousy bores me, doll. You've nothing to fear. I just meant her family. They have bad blood with the Lannisters. Found articles and police reports. Aparently aren't very popular with Tywin's brother. Maybe that's why she didn't laugh or seem surprised at dinner. She's a couple years younger than you. Been in the service for six years."

You listened to him ramble his useless facts on your soon to be sister in law.

There came a knock on the door and you saw Ramsay crinkle his brow in confusion before he rose from his chair.

He opened the door and Damon stepped in.

"Robb Stark. He's looking for you."

Ramsay clicked his tongue and smirked.

"Tell him to meet me at the shop at six. Then we are going to the club for the kids birthday. I only need you with me when I meet the cop."

"Yessir." Damon nodded, clutching his keys and phone.

"Why did you come all the way up here instead of just calling?" Ramsay asked, crossing his arms.

"Because he's security detail this morning." You spoke up, putting your book down.

Your husband looked between you and Damon, who gave a half shrug and nod.

"I thought that was Friday?"

"Babe, it is Friday." You said, furrowing your brows slightly.

"Hm. Interesting." He hummed, leaving the room.

"He good?" Damon asked quietly.

You shrugged, "he's been a bit off for a couple days."

"When's your appointment?"

You heaved a sigh, "Wednesday."

"Ah. I see." Damon nodded, glancing around the mostly empty house.

"This is a pretty dress." You said, pulling the navy blue dress from the bag.

"I thought it would look good on you. Classic waves. Pearls. You have two hours." Ramsay replied, throwing a box of shoes on the bed.

"Why are we dressing so nice to get the kid fucked up for his eighteenth birthday?" You asked, examining the highly polished, black shoes.

"Rite of passage."

Ramsay walked in the bathroom, fixing his cufflinks as you pulled the last if the curlers from your hair. You felt your cheeks warm as you glanced at him in the mirror.

"Why do we look like we belong in the thirties?" You asked, turning to him.

"Dress code." He said, adjusting his tie and placing his fedora hat delicately on his perfectly slicked hair. You just noticed he had gotten a haircut while he was out.

"Where are we going?" You asked, turning back to the counter to find your lipstick.

"It's a surprise."

"Who are we meeting?"

"Matt, your snake, Dame, Charlotte, and Alyn."

He clasped your strand of pearls around your neck, fingers lingering longer than needed as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

"Alright, doll. First we meet with Stark, then we meet up with the gang."

"I'm following your lead." You smiled, putting your makeup away.

"You will hold your tongue, understood?" Ramsay said, throwing open the conference room door.

You nodded, entering the dark room, as Ramsay flipped on the light. You took a seat and ran your hand over the smooth surface of the polished table.

Ramsay leaned against the table beside you, glancing down at his watch. He tutted in annoyance.

"I really hate when people don't have the courtesy to be on time."

"You'd really hate my mom then. She'll be late to her own funeral." You giggled, tapping your foot on the ground, as you smoothed out your dress.

Moments later Damon entered, looking just as clean cut as Ramsay. You almost didn't recognize him and took a few moments of staring to realize who it was, as he swept his hat off his head and tucked it under his arm, leaning against the wall as Robb Stark walked in stiffly. The news reporter, Talisa a step behind him.

"Let's waste no time, I'm in rather a hurry this evening." Ramsay said, taking a seat beside you.

Robb made to sit across the table but Ramsay held up his hand, "gun on the table."

Robb scowled, pulling his gun and placing it on the table.

Ramsay glanced at you, "check her."

You rose from your seat, walking around the table to Talisa.

"Is this really necessary?" Robb asked, stiffening even more.

"Just a precaution." Ramsay said, lighting a cigarette.

You gave Talisa a small smile, "Sorry. But, safety first." You pat her down, "oh! I love your shoes."

"Uh... thanks?" She said, standing just as stiffly as Robb.

You pulled away from her and returned to your seat.

Robb and Talisa took their seats, both looking very awkward and uncomfortable.

"So, you got my message?" Ramsay asked, resting his elbows on the table.

"Yes. I did. You're a hard man to find." Robb said, with a nod.

"I like it that way. But I've been watching you. Nosing around in things that will get you killed. I would hire a professional hacker next time you try to find me. Now, before I say any more, why have you been meeting with my father?"

Robb eyed Ramsay closely, "he's helping me find my sister."

"Why? What's in it for him?" Ramsay asked, masking his confusion, but not before you took note of it.

"Don't know. He came to me and said he was sorry about my father and offered his help." Robb said, looking down at his hands as he rested them on the table.

You could see the strain in his face. Poor guy. Trying to play by his law abiding, police rules.

"Hm. Well, I am afraid I lied about having your sister. However, I know who has her. But locating her physical being has been difficult." Ramsay said, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"Who?" Robb asked at once, snapping his head up.

"Hold on there, detective. What's in it for me?" Ramsay chuckled.

You gave him a side eye, frowning at his enjoyment by keeping this poor man in the dark.

"Bolton, I'm a cop. I don't make near enough what you're asking for." Robb said with a frustrated sigh, running his hand over his face.

Ramsay smirked, putting his cigarette out in the ash tray on the table, taking his hat off, and placing it in your lap.

"And I am just a simple banker, who owns a garage."

"Please. Name your price." Talisa spoke up, grabbing Robb's hand tight.

"Alright, how about this... Give me Theon Greyjoy and I will deliver your sister to you. Bring me Theon and his uncle, Euron Greyjoy and I will give you your sister and fifty k."

Robb gaped, "Theon? Why?"

"That's my business. Deal?" Ramsay said, a grin twitching the corner of his mouth.

"I can't. I don't even know where he is. He never came back to work." Robb admitted, chewing his lip.

The grin spread like poison on Ramsay's face.

"Seem to be losing everyone close to you, huh?"

Robb gave an ugly scowl and made to stand. Ramsay pulled back his jacket to reveal the gun strapped to his chest. Robb sat back in his chair.

"Do we have a deal?" Ramsay asked, rising from his chair, pulling the gun.

Talisa gasped, casting around wildly as Damon stepped in front of the only exit, hand tucked away inside his jacket.

Robb sighed, "Do I even have a choice?"

Ramsay laughed, "And I thought all Stark's were slow on the uptake. Look at it this way, you both walk out of here and never mention this meeting to anyone, you give me what I want, I give you what you want. Easy, right?"

Robb gripped the arms of his chair, "and if I bring the whole department down on you?"

Ramsay sucked his front teeth and gave an eye roll. He lazily held his gun up at Talisa.

You watched her eyes widen and color drain from her face.

"If you try anything stupid, well..." Ramsay said, pulling the trigger.

Talisa screamed as the shot rang out, and a hole appeared in the wall feet behind her. Ramsay had just missed grazing her cheek.

Robb jumped up, lunging for his gun, but Ramsay pulled a knife from nowhere it seemed and buried it in Robb's sleeve, pinning him just out of reach of his gun.

Talisa was sobbing hysterically into her hands, and Robb was fuming. Ramsay glanced at the shocked, sobbing woman in distaste.

"Now. Do. We. Have. A. Deal?" Ramsay asked, fingering the handle of the knife.

"Yes." Robb said weakly, shoulders dropping.

Ramsay wrenched the knife from the table with a satisfied grin and held out his hand. Robb shook it reluctantly.

"Because I'm such a good guy, I'll give you a clue on your sister. Joffrey Baratheon."

Robb eyed Ramsay, snatched his gun from the table, helped Talisa from her chair, and ushered her from the room.

"Remember, if you speak a word of this, your graves are already dug!" Ramsay called after them with a malicious laugh.

Once they were gone you turned to your husband, as he took his hat back from you.

"The Lannisters don't have her though." You said bluntly.

Ramsay chuckled, "I know. But I like watching cops chase their tails. Now, let's get the fuck outta here. We have a long night ahead of us."

"What is this place?" You asked, snaking your arm around Ramsay's waist as he led you down a flight of cobblestone steps to a thick door. There was a small sign above the door that read "Naked Man".

Ramsay only gave you a smirk as he knocked on the door.

You glanced back at Damon, Charlotte, Matt, Tyene, and Alyn. They had all dressed like you and Ramsay. It was like looking back in time.

An eye hole in the door slid back. Ramsay pulled back his sleeve slightly to reveal part of his flayed man tattoo, "Bolton, party of seven. Our blades are sharp."

The eye hole slid closed and a few moments later the heavy door swung in and Ramsay led you into an underground club. It was dim, full of smoke haze, mostly older men, girls dressed in curve hugging floor gowns like yours, and an electro swing band on a wooden stage. It had to be the most upbeat, and yet elegant place you had ever set foot in. The floors were dark polished oak, the walls done up in more elegant wood work. It was cozy and yet regal. It was... classic.

Ramsay turned around, grabbing Matt by the tie and pulling him forward, "your night is on me." He released Matt and glanced at your group, "to the Seven Deadly Sins." He winked, looking past you and letting a wicked smirk grow.

You turned to see what Ramsay was looking at. There in a corner, smoking cigars and playing poker sat Roose and Tywin Lannister.

Ramsay gripped your hand and led you toward his father. You followed unwillingly.

He slid into an empty seat beside his father, grabbed a glass off a tray a woman was carrying, and pulled you into his lap.

He took a very long, exaggerated drink, set the glass down, pulled his hat off, and smiled sweetly at his father.

Roose eyed Ramsay in weariness. "Son. Don't ever see you here."

"Yeah, been awhile. What brings you to the city? You hardly ever come to the city... though I've had it that you've been here a lot recently." Ramsay said, dealing himself cards, and pulling out his cigarettes.

"Mr. Lannister and I had business to take care of." Roose said curtly, eyeing you over.

"Been keeping busy, Lannister? Heard you pulled some amazing feats last night." Ramsay said, glancing up from his cards, pushing them aside, and giving Tywin a calculating look.

"Yes. Stannis is lucky to have the men he still has. Though it may not remain that way very long." Tywin nodded, taking a drink from his glass.

Jaime Lannister slid into the empty seat next to his father. He glanced you and Ramsay over.

"Didn't realize all the Bolton's would be here tonight." Jaime said, taking a drink offered by a woman.

"Strictly coincidence. Now, which one of you is selling?" Ramsay shrugged.

"What do you want, son?" Roose asked rather dangerously.

"Just wanna buy drugs, old man." Ramsay replied giving his father a very innocent look, that could of fooled God himself. "You always got good shit on you. I need it for the night. Look, I'm feeling generous, I'll even pay double."

"I don't need your money, idiot. Take it and go." Roose hissed, pulling a neatly folded bag of fine white powder from his breast pocket and thrusting it at Ramsay.

"Hey, I may get you a 'Dad of the year' coffee cup for father's day this year." Ramsay chuckled, taking the baggie. "Guess I can still expect you Wednesday afternoon?"

Roose eyed you and nodded, "of course. Wouldn't miss it."

You looked daggers at your father in law, thankful Ramsay couldn't see from your angle in his lap.

"Come on, doll. Let's leave the grumpy old men to their boring game. The young lion is cheating anyways." Ramsay said, nudging you to stand, and nodding at Jaime with a polite smile.

He gripped your hand and led you across the club, out of sight of Roose, to the table the Boys sat at.

"Right, kid. Hope you know what an honor it is to be here. I mean both literally here," he motioned around the building, "and officially being apart of the Bastard's Boys."

Matt gave a nod, looking a bit dazed.

Ramsay tossed the baggie he had got off his father to Alyn. "Six lines."

Alyn nodded, pulling his wallet and sliding a credit card out.

"Do you swing?" Ramsay whispered in your ear as you turned your attention to the band playing.

"Yes, actually. It's my favorite." You replied, turning back to him.

"Man, I knew I married you for a reason." He grinned, pulling out his wallet and pulling six crips bills from it. He passed them around, rolling his as tightly as he could.

"To a night you will never remember, or forget." Ramsay said, winking at Matt, snorting the thin line Alyn had carefully slid across the table with the plastic card.

Something about watching Ramsay snort cocaine was slightly heartbreaking. You knew he had used many times over the years, but he had never done it in front of you, and often assured you he only drank, popped pills occasionally, and smoked marijuana since "falling in love" with you.

You stood there watching him drop the rolled up bill on the table, bury his face in one hand, and clutch at his chest with the other. He shook his head, dropped his hands, and turned his eyes to yours as his pupils blew.

"Oh fuck." He muttered, taking a seat and staring at the table.

Alyn clapped him on the shoulder, "just give it a minute. Inhaled too hard is all."

You watched everyone succumb to the high from the blow. You felt like an outsider slightly. You made to sit down when Ramsay gripped your hand and rose from his chair.

He ordered a round of drinks for the table as he led you past the bar and to the dance floor.

"Pretty soon I'll be too fat for this." You said with a sad smile, as you fell into the fast paced steps with him.

He twirled you and pulled you into him, biting at your neck, "until then, though, I will take you dancing whenever you want."

"How is it that you are the most charming and horrible man I have ever met?" You asked, feeling slightly breathless already.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it." He replied, also seeming rather winded. Though it may have just been the drugs. You weren't sure.

Three songs later you had to call it quits. Ramsay returned you to the table, and left you to get you a glass of water.

You glanced around the place, seeing your group scattered, enjoying themselves. It made you smile. Ramsay set the glass down in front of you, taking a seat beside you and pulling your chair closer.

"What's on your mind?" He asked, throwing back his drink.

"You." You said slowly turning your gaze from the room to him.

"What about me?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his brows slightly.

"I dunno. You're different. Not being so murderous or threatening. Treating Matt to, what I'm sure is a very expensive night, and... I dunno. I don't know how to explain it." You said, running your eyes over him.

"All of us spent our eighteenth birthdays here, and he's a Boy now. So, I thought I'd extend the hand. I take care of those who work for me. Sometimes that means doing things like this." He replied with a small shrug.

You nodded, turning back to the crowd, giving a tiny gasp as Tyene climbed up on a table, shouting to get everyone's attention.

"Hey! Tonight we are celebrating a birthday. And the birthday boy needs all your support to help him blow out his birthday candles!" Tyene shouted, as two bartenders set a towering birthday cake on the counter.

Alyn and Damon were helping a very inebriated Matt to the cake. There were a few catcalls and jeers from the crowd.

On the third attempt Matt managed to blow out all the candles, which was greeted by clapping and whistles. Mostly by the older men who took delight in watching a stupid kid make a fool of himself, while trashed beyond belief.

"Cake then?" Ramsay asked.

"Please." You nodded, giving a smile.

"I need a kiss first." Ramsay said, reaching for your face and pulling you toward him.

You placed your lips to his, kissing him deeply. He moved his hand from your cheek to grope and grab at your breasts.

"Stop it." You hissed against his lips.

"You like it." He grinned back, letting a small moan escape him as you slid from your seat to his lap.

"How pissed would your father be if I fucked you right here?" You asked, kissing along his jaw.

"Mm, so pissed." He panted, tipping his head back.

"Good." You purred in his ear, hiking your dress up enough to straddle your husband.

He slid his hands to your hips and gripped hard, as you ground against his pants.

You felt him stir in his pants as he shifted to push his hips into you.

You took one of his hands, sliding it up your dress.

"Gave you a grand to buy underwear and you aren't even wearing any." He said with a small, longing groan as he ran his fingers against you.

"Just wanted you to know that I'm ready." You whispered, biting at his neck.

He shifted I'm his seat, to undo his belt, "how ruined are these pants?"

"On a scale of not to embarrassingly, I'm going to have to go with embarrassingly." You smirked, nipping his ear.

He grinned, peaking his eye open. "We need to move over a couple tables if you're wanting to piss off my father."

"Well, move us." You replied.

"When did you become the bad influence?" He chuckled, cupping your ass as he stood, bringing you with him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing and nibbling at his ear, you made to respond when someone cleared their throat bringing you back to reality.

You pulled away from him to look around.

"Down here." A voice said.

Both you and Ramsay looked down to see Tyrion Lannister.

"Little man." Ramsay chuckled, sitting back down.

You gave a sniff, sliding back into your own seat and fixing your dress.

"Sorry to interrupt. I'm not usually one to be a cock block, but I would hate for such a young, beautiful couple to be caught off guard with their pants down."

You stared at Tyrion, raising a brow.

"What do you mean?" Ramsay asked.

Tyrion nodded at a group of men watching you and Ramsay.

"Fuck them. Jealous fucks." Ramsay said, glaring back at them in malice.

"All the same." Tyrion said, taking a seat at the table.

Ramsay pulled out his cigarettes and offered one to Tyrion, who took it.

"What brings you here?" Tyrion asked, lighting his cigarette.

Ramsay nodded at Matt, who was being held up by Tyene, who was laughing wildly. "Kid's birthday. All my Boys and I spent our eighteenth birthdays here, and so I thought I'd bring the kid as I made him an official Boy this afternoon."

Tyrion watched Matt through his mismatched eyes, a small grin on his face, which was heavily cut and bruised.

"What happened to you?" Ramsay asked bluntly.

Tyrion sighed in his exhale of smoke, "Stannis' little escapade last night. Had a hell of a time trying to keep things together, then father, of course, swooped in and saved the day."

"Ah, fathers. Always stealing the thunder. Aren't they the worst?" Ramsay nodded.

Tyrion gave a bitter laugh, "I will drink to that."

"Hear hear." Ramsay said, turning in his seat to catch a waitresses attention.

She set two glasses down in front of Ramsay and Tyrion, offering you one, but you waved her away.

"Where's your bitch of a sister?"

"Probably off gloating over Stannis' defeat last night." Tyrion shrugged.

You watched Ramsay give a sweeping glance over the room and frown. He sighed, pulled his gun, placed it in your lap, slipping his hand in his pants pocket as he stood up.

You caught the glint of metal as he pulled his hand from his pocket.

"If you'll excuse me." He said, stalking off, grabbing Damon by the elbow as he walked by.

Confused you turned in your seat, seeing the group Tyrion had warned about harassing Matt and Tyene.

Tyrion gave a tut, watching closely as Ramsay tapped the closest man on the shoulder and hit him squarely in the face without a word as the man turned to face him.

Alyn swooped in as Ramsay and Damon tackled the group of men to the ground.

Tyene tugged Matt away from the brawl. He tripped over a chair and fell backward, hitting his head on a the table.

A single gunshot rang out, silencing the room at once; Ramsay standing abruptly, running his hand over his chest and giving a small sigh.

Roose stood there, gun raised, eyes narrowed.

"Ramsay, get out of my club." He snarled, his voice hardly an octave above a whisper that seemed to carry around the room.

Ramsay made a noise, wiping his bloodied lip on the back of his hand, motioning at the men picking themselves up off the ground.

"What of them? They started it!" Ramsay said in a voice of forced calm.

"They are here as my guests." Roose said as if it settled the matter.

"And I'm here as your son!" Ramsay raged, stepping into Roose.

"Get. Out." Roose hissed, narrowing his pale eyes to deadly slits, pushing the barrel of his gun into Ramsay's chest.

"I will remember this. I take back what I said about father of the year." Ramsay said through clenched teeth, a manic grin threatening to show.

He yanked Alyn toward him, grabbing at him, and pulling the bag of powder from him. He turned back to his father and emptied the baggie on Roose's shoes, flinging the empty bag in Roose's face. He dropped a pair of brass knuckles at his father's feet and turned to Damon and Alyn.

"Let's go Boys."

Alyn helped Tyene gather up Matt, and Charlotte appeared at your side, grabbing your empty hand.

You held on to Ramsay's gun and hat, not daring to make eye contact with Roose as you were shunted through the room.

The wind was bitter as you stepped out into the cold night. Ramsay relieved you of gun and hat.

Matt leaned against the wall as you emerged from the top of the stairs. He looked upset, running his hand over the back of his head.

"Sup?" Damon asked, looking Matt over.

"They... I... my shoe." Matt said, unable to string words together in his upset, drunk state.

You looked down to see Matt was only wearing one shoe.

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lady-deadlight · 8 years ago

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Just to clarify why I ship Kydi and what I want for them...

I want Heidi to get as far as possible from Cartman. In this past episode she was SO close and it was thanks to Kyle who WASNT judging her for going out with cartman. Almost the entire episode we got Kyle LISTENING to Heidi and then EXPLAINING to Heidi what kind of person Cartman TRULY is. And the fact is, hes NOT the person Heidi thought he was, maybe at the time, he was different, he was changing but it was all a facade, it wasnt genuine, Perhaps it was some kind of phase but either way, he went right back to being the Cartman we all know. I love that Heidi knew all this but was afraid to break it off with him. It rings true to abusive/toxic relationships. What I loved even more was after this talk and really thinking things through she knew it was time to end it.

I dont want Kyle to be a Knight in shining armor entirely, thats not why I ship them. TBH I got INTO a relationship with a guy because “he saved me” from someone else and while that was nice, i found that, thats the type of guy he is, he just wanted to “save” me and then got bored. I know Kyle wouldnt do that but I just dont think that should represent what “Kydi” is. Its not about saving one person, it should be about saving each other but also saving yourself!

I want Heidi to have a clear state of mind and be able to pull away from Cartman on her own will, but that is hard! She ALMOST did it this episode so we know she is strong enough to do it! Break ups are hard but like Kyle told the girls in the gym “give her some space” and the more you say “i told you so” the more shes going to prove to herself that she WAS right and go back to him. And thats what she did. I don’t blame the girls for making fun of Cartman at dinner, but NOT in front of Heidi. And I have to say, out of all the girls, Im really disappointed in Wendy in particular. Shes dealt with Cartmans shenanigans more than any of the other girls and she should know that Heidi was being manipulated by Cartman and that making FUN of Heidi wasn’t the way to go. I hope Trey & Matt do some redemption not just for Wendy but for all the girls here.

Anyway, as for KYDI as a couple, they just mesh so well. Kyle is understanding, compassionate, thoughtful, empathetic, logical and kind. Heidi, is sweet, caring, supportive and just freaking adorable!!! And this is one of those cases where these two sound good on paper but they also work in the show, we just need some more scenes of them! We got the sense that Heidi was starting to like Kyle (no i dont think its too soon after Cartman since we get the hint that while she feels obligations to cartman her feelings were elsewhere, so its like shes WITH him but not really with him) but towards the end she was manipulated by Cartman so who knows if those feelings will grow, stay the same, or disappear. But I dont think Cartmans manipulations are THAT strong to diminish genuine feelings. I think they will still be there but we’ll have to wait and see what happens. I hope Kyle doesn’t give up on Heidi either.

I CANNOT BELIEVE IM SO INVESTED IN THIS SHOW FOR THE RELATIONSHIPS. But I love it and the fandom has been kind in welcoming me and its been a blast making gifsets :D

Also for wishful thinking, I was kinda hoping that with Kydi being a thing that it would help bring together the boys & girls again, I dont like their feud, its lasted too long, I also need Stendy back!

But yeah if you all agree, feel free to reblog and if you wan to add your hopes & dreams or analysis about Kydi, reblog & tell us your thoughts! or tag me! I dont mind chatting with you all about this show and ship and/or shipsss (where my creek shippers at? :D)

Stay strong Kydi shippers! :)

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groundramon · 7 years ago

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Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here! I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing. ok. alright. cool. Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon. just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like. They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality. I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish. This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids. What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him. I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet. No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is. Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one. They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like. Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed. The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it. Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me. alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible. Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected. Was very invested during it. ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out. Where are the 02 kids. You should’ve brought them in to save the day. That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun. Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps. Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty. I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development. He’s basically an entirely different person. Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe. He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE. The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back. They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei??? Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much. It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters. Whatever. AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk? This entire time??? Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends??? Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried. Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao. God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely. Would I have still been bitter? Yes. But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise. It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults. These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining. They do not work when placed into an adult setting. Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world? I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like. Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure. It doesn’t work. Digimon Tri is basically that except real. Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience. It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that. Like! Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL. Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life. I want bad puns and emotional characters. That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be. Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars. It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better. You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead. If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series. Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS. I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri? But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish. Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies. Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit. I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons. It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments. If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it. It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept. And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up. It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon. It raises interesting questions about the timeline too. We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project? (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over) But what about Diaboromon? I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well. Could Diaboromon still be out there too? It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction. Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil? Like ? That’s a pretty important thing. The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02. And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still. It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened) MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so. God there’s just. So much wrong with Tri. I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me. I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

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daresplaining · 8 years ago

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So proud of Danny in the Defenders... He was my favorite. His fights were a huge improvement from his show, I loved them all! What do you think about Danny this season?

Danny was a rockstar in this show. As Daredevil bloggers, we’re contractually obligated to say that Matt was our favorite… but well… we loved every second of Danny’s journey, and the wait for Season 2 is going to be very long indeed. We really enjoyed the fights in Iron Fist, but we agree that they were awesome in The Defenders– particularly with the addition of those glorious Luke/Danny tag-teams! If you don’t mind, we’re going to take this as an excuse to do a deep dive into Danny’s Defenders arc.

(First: his haircut is excellent. We liked the longer hair too, but this would be much easier to uh… *cough* fit under a mask. Eh, Marvel?)

In some of the earliest pre-Defenders interviews, Finn mentioned that Danny would be the one member of the team who really knew what was going on, and would be a driving force behind the team-up– and this ended up being very much the case. Of all the protagonists, Danny comes into this fight with the most pain and the most context and the biggest personal investment in achieving victory. Matt lost someone he loved to the Hand, and we’re certainly not disregarding that grief, but Danny lost his entire home– or at least, he believes he did– and he blames himself.

The question of whether K’un-Lun has actually been destroyed is toyed with throughout The Defenders, and while we likely won’t find out the truth until Iron Fist Season 2, the important factor here is what Danny believes. His character arc in his solo show followed his desperate struggle to sort out his identity– as Danny Rand in the first five episodes, as Iron Fist in the next five, and as a balance of both in the final three– and now, he views this time spent in conflict as having cost him everything. We know, of course, that this was beyond his control, and so it’s upsetting to watch him get tortured anew by guilt. We can compare his nightmare about K’un-Lun in Defenders Episode 1 to his relentless PTSD-fueled flashbacks to the plane crash in Iron Fist. The trauma of watching his parents die, while obviously not gone, has been superseded by the trauma of losing his adopted family and home. And once again, just as he did as a ten-year-old, he is reacting to compensate for this loss. We see at the beginning of The Defenders that his life and purpose have become simplified and focused. He is no longer questioning. He is no longer conflicted. He no longer believes he can afford to be. He has one goal, to the exclusion of all else. He’s the Iron Fist, and he’s taking down the Hand no matter what.

(A whole separate post could be written on the contexts in which he introduces himself as Danny vs. as Iron Fist, but we’ll get back to that.)

Another side effect of this new sense of purpose is isolation. Danny needs to complete his mission himself, and doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Colleen, as someone who has been on this journey with him for a long time at this point, and who has her own self-imposed mission to destroy the Hand, is the only ally he wants. As Colleen points out later in the show, Danny is on a subconscious search for a family. But having lost his last two, and having been betrayed by nearly everyone since first returning to New York, he starts the show hesitant about the idea of acquiring new allies. Colleen, in contrast, is eager for help and sees this isolation as a problem. With Danny cutting himself off from the rest of the world, he is becoming locked in a spiral of depression and putting himself in danger. It’s interesting to then watch them reverse positions on this topic as the show progresses.

This mission leads to Danny and Colleen’s discovery of the Chaste stronghold in NYC, a hint of their connection to K’un-Lun, and– most importantly– the fact that they too have been wiped out. Yet another failure, in what is now looking more and more to Danny like a battle he is destined to lose. This is the absolute worst possible moment Luke could have strolled into his life and started protecting someone working for the Hand.

Luke is defending a suffering kid from what looks like a random assault. Danny is fighting someone he assumes is a Hand warrior, possibly the very person who slaughtered the Chaste. He is out for blood– and Luke does nothing but unknowingly exacerbate the situation.

(Oh no.)

(OH NO!)

The sheer size of the misunderstandings in Luke and Danny’s early interactions makes them painful to watch, but also great character moments. This fight, for Danny, is an embodiment of his entire battle with the Hand so far: seemingly futile, and exposing just how weak and ineffective he is. Nothing he tries works, and the enemy just. Keeps. Coming. Not only that, but Luke is standing in the way of his one hope for finding answers: Cole. All things considered, it’s a testament to Danny’s self-control that it takes him as long as it does to wallop his future BFF with the Iron Fist.

While we’re on the subject of Danny in this fight, we wanted to take a second to highlight this badassery:

Danny’s agility and untouchability is a trademark of his fighting style in the comics, and it’s his usual strategy for fighting big bruisers like Luke, so we loved seeing it showcased here (and we wish he’d used it more)!

Luke: “Your playin’ jack-rabbit ain’t gonna save you forever, punk!”

Power Man #48 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and Francoise Mouly

Once Claire vouches for Luke not being Hand, Danny agrees to meet with him– and while obviously wary at first (again: Danny has had a terrible history of trusting people he shouldn’t), he warms up to Luke amazingly quickly. He clearly respects and admires Luke for what he’s heard about him from Claire, and for his fighting ability– and yes, probably also because of True Love™ (platonic or otherwise, depending on how you personally read this relationship). The writers know what the fans want, after all.

(Ed Brisson, the writer for the current Iron Fist series, once referred to their dynamic as (to paraphrase) “the guy with the most powerful punch, and the guy who can take that punch”, so we appreciate this exchange. We’re gonna try really hard to not veer too far into Heroes for Hire Happy Land in this post, since we’re focusing specifically on Danny, but this seemed worth pointing out. There will be plenty of time for Heroes for Hire Happy Land later…)

This scene also introduces something we see several times in the show, usually with Luke– which is Danny’s eagerness to share the details of his origin story. He becomes noticeably happier when talking about K’un-Lun and acquiring his powers, and it’s really endearing.

(D’aw. That’s how we feel about Shou-Lao too, Danny.)

One of our favorite exchanges in the entire show, in fact, is in Episode 6: when Luke makes fun of Danny for this, then realizes he’s hurt him, feels bad, and offers to sincerely engage. Danny’s relief and gratitude is palpable and it’s a great moment in their budding friendship. In fact (and we’ll get back to this), it’s possibly the most important moment between them from Danny’s perspective– proof that, despite the betrayal of trying to keep him out of the war, Luke does actually care about him. It’s a small gesture, but a powerful one, since Danny doesn’t have many people like that in his life anymore.

Also, as far as we can remember, Danny never actually mentioned shoving his hands into Shou-Lao’s heart in Iron Fist, so we love that that detail was included here. It’s important! And yes… it hurt like heck.

Danny: “I plunged my hands into it, as hard as I could, again and again. You can’t imagine how that hurt… It was hotter than any furnace, but after ten years of preparation– after all the others who’d tried and failed– how could I stop?”

Power Man and Iron Fist vol. 1 #75 by Mary Jo Duffy, Kerry Gammill, and Christie Scheele

Anyway, we read this urge several different ways. First, Danny is really proud of being the Iron Fist– and he should be. The guy singlehandedly killed a dragon, and being K’un-Lun’s Immortal Weapon is a huge honor. He talks again and again, in both Iron Fist and in The Defenders, about how this was something he earned through hard work and dedication. It’s his greatest accomplishment– something that has defined his life. This also means that it’s key to understanding who he is. Danny is finally able to fully embraced his identity and status as the Iron Fist, as we discussed earlier, meaning that he now sees this as the most important fact about him. He wants new people to understand him, and telling them his origin story is a quick and easy way to get at the core of who he sees himself to be at this point. It’s also proof of his credentials. He’s the Iron Fist– he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to this magic ninja stuff. It’s telling that during the team’s first conversation at the restaurant, Danny seems to expect Matt to know about the Iron Fist legacy as well, since he has prior knowledge of the Hand. (Joke’s on you, Danny– Matt failed his Chaste training.)

Most importantly: it’s something he just doesn’t get to talk about much, since he doesn’t have many friends (yet!) and most people don’t believe him. And it’s heartbreaking for his life and title and home to be continually scoffed at, but he keeps trying anyway. Now that he thinks he’ll never see K’un-Lun again, he is probably extra desperate to reflect on happy memories of his time there. Since he returned to New York, the only person who has sincerely been interested in connecting with him in this way is Colleen. He needs more friends he can chat with about kung fu and dragons! He needs more people in his life who actually care about him as a person!

And finally, of course, it’s for anyone who didn’t watch the previous Marvel Netflix shows– but that’s beside the point.

This scene also, of course, gives us Luke and Danny’s other fight– which is even more painful than the physical one. We could pick this apart line by line, since it is loaded with nuance, but it boils down to Luke fundamentally misunderstanding the situation. The points he makes to Danny make perfect sense based on his personal background and the extent of his knowledge. They’re excellent, socially relevant points. However, they betray a lack of awareness of what’s actually going on in the show, and the fact that Luke doesn’t know anything about Danny yet. And Danny is blindsided by his accusations, since they’re so far removed from the real situation.

Danny spent most of his life without money, then had a fortune he wasn’t interested in unceremoniously dumped on him, so this whole conversation is understandably surreal for him. He sees the Hand bearing down on New York and threatening the only other home he has, while Luke just sees a kid whose life is in danger and whose family is suffering, and these personal investments in the situation cloud their abilities to see each other’s perspectives. And boy, does that hurt to watch. This is also the introduction of Danny’s main role within the team-up: as someone who understands the Hand better than any of the others, and tries to keep all of their individual agendas from getting in the way of what really matters.

It’s also key to point out the difference between Colleen (who also worked for the Hand) and Cole. Danny now understands, via Colleen, how the Hand can sucker good people into joining them by not revealing their sinister deeds until ensuring loyalty. Colleen was with the Hand for years, yet had no idea her faction was involved in criminal activity. But Cole was right in there, disposing of dead bodies. Danny has every reason to assume he had at least some sense of how bad his bosses were.

…And this is the point where Danny finally snaps, which is no big surprise. It cuts right into his own feelings of guilt. But Luke would have no way of knowing how out of line this is.

This is an upsetting scene for H4H fans (one of us had to take a minute to calm down during our first watch-through), but it’s also a key turning point in Danny’s Defenders character arc. Having hit a wall in his battle with the Hand, Luke’s comments provide him with a fresh perspective on the situation– and a new idea about how to continue the fight. He realizes, in fact, that he needs to reach outside of his Iron Fist identity, to which he has so tightly clung since the beginning of the show, and make use of his Rand resources.

As Colleen rightly points out, and despite whatever “entitled rich kid” stereotype Luke might have imagined, this is not his world, and he is stepping way out of his comfort zone. But he goes for it anyway, his fighting spirit renewed. He even makes the ultimate sacrifice and puts on a suit and tie!

(Get ‘em, Danny!)

Having spent so long trying to reconcile his two identities, this is a hugely important moment– in which Danny uses his civilian identity as a weapon to further his mission as Iron Fist.

Danny: “I need to face this as Danny Rand. I’ll need every asset of my father’s most precious gift to me… this mighty, undying corporation… and every last dollar of its lifeblood… and all the power that buys. You want a war, Hydra? Fine. You’ve got it.”

Immortal Iron Fist #3 by Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, David Aja, et al.

As we hope he learns in future seasons through his continued exploration of the Iron Fist legacy, all Iron Fists (at least, in the comics) are unique, and their lives, careers, and even power-sets are shaped by their individual differences. There isn’t a set template for being the Iron Fist, and it is possible– necessary, even– to be an Immortal Weapon without losing every other part of your identity. Danny has gone from negotiating the two sides of his life and being buffeted by the chaos this generates, to zeroing in on his fight with the Hand to the exclusion of everything else– and this moment is a great step in what will hopefully be a journey toward a comfortable middle ground. Yes, the writers needed to get him to Midland Circle so he could take part in the team-up, but it’s also a cool character moment. Also, look at that smirk. You go, Danny.

But all of this aside, Colleen is right, Danny is not a businessman. And he knows it. However, he also knows how to approach combat, and is very good at acting confident, as we saw in his fights in Iron Fist. It’s clear he’s faking his way through his business-y speech to the board at Midland Circle, but that’s not the point. This is his official declaration of war. He needs the Hand to know that the Iron Fist is coming after them, and he needs them to think he has the upper hand. By strolling right into the center of their operation, he is metaphorically giving them the finger and letting them think he doesn’t feel threatened by them.

At the same time, he is placing himself in a position of weakness. For the first time since the beginning of the show, he is completely isolated– and for the first time, he is confronted face-to-face with the reality of what, exactly, he’s up against.

Alexandra shows up to derail him, belittle him, and emotionally destabilize him. She goes in for some space invasion and forced physical contact to assert dominance (she does the same thing in the restaurant, and to Elektra). Heck, she even sits right up on the conference table to throw in a little additional disrespect. And she meets Danny’s declaration with one of her own: that the Hand doesn’t feel threatened by him either. Danny doesn’t back down, of course, but once again the Hand is presenting a serious challenge to him – and this time he’s facing them all by himself.

We are sadly no longer able to make GIFs from Netflix (and kudos to the GIF wizards who still manage it), but Danny is so angry here that he’s twitching. The core members of the Hand use the apparent destruction of K’un-Lun as a psychological weapon against him throughout the show, and each time it’s heartbreaking to watch him fight to keep his composure. It’s a testament to his self-control that he manages it here– though the emotional turmoil stemming from this, alongside everything else Alexandra throws at him in this scene (her blasé attitude, the fact that she doesn’t want to kill him yet, the fact that she’s killed previous Iron Fists…), may be why he experiences a chi malfunction right before Luke arrives.

Team-up stories are always going to undermine the power of individual characters’ narratives. Were this Danny’s solo show, he would likely have found a way out of this situation on his own, and it would have been awesome. But then we wouldn’t have gotten this:

(Chi blockage: cured!) …so we’re not complaining. As it stands, the effectiveness of this team-up convinces Danny that maybe acquiring more allies isn’t such a bad idea.

Tracking the Hand all over the world didn’t work, searching for the Chaste didn’t work, confronting their leaders and attacking their “legal” base of operations didn’t work… Now, Danny eagerly throws himself into a new strategy that seems like it might yield results. It’s heartening to see that in the midst of all of his pain and frustration, he still maintains that characteristic optimism. Just because all previous efforts have failed doesn’t mean this one will, and he is positively chipper throughout his early interactions with the other three. He believes that now, at last, he has found a way to beat the Hand, and thus his hope is restored. It’s a relief for him to have more allies to rely on, and he is fascinated to run into other superpowered warriors, awed by them, and eager to work alongside them.

(These are only a few examples, of course– Danny is perpetually geeking out over the other three throughout the show.) Despite his history of betrayal and his previous belief that he couldn’t get others involved, he sets his heart on this team-up and almost instantly attaches himself to Luke, Jessica, and Matt. He doesn’t even get involved in the argument about Matt hiding his face– he trusts him anyway (neat detail: he doesn’t even look at Matt’s face post-reveal until after Matt introduces himself). It’s enough for him, in this moment, that he’s found a group of friends who are able and willing to fight the Hand alongside him. He verbally defends their honor to Alexandra, and (big surprise) is smitten with Luke in particular.

Now that the situation has escalated and Luke sees what’s really going on, and after their effortlessly badass partnership at Midland Circle, the two of them have put aside their grievances. Now, Danny goes into the same hi-I’m-going-to-keep-talking-to-you-until-you-become-my-friend mode with Luke that he did with Colleen when he first met her.

Luke in turn provides Danny with protection and moral support later in this scene, when Alexandra starts getting aggressive. Danny is still subconsciously looking for a family, and in addition to their ability to kick serious ninja butt, these guys seem to him like prime candidates.

The restaurant scene is an emotional high point for Danny for another reason as well: Stick.

We had high hopes for Danny and Stick’s interactions, and all of them were met. Stick exhibits a respect for Danny’s rank (moreso than we were expecting, in fact, but not too much– he’s still Stick, after all) that is in neat contrast with his interactions with everyone else. Danny, in turn, is delighted to meet someone of Stick’s calibre who– most importantly– has information! Not only that, but Stick is connected to K’un-Lun in a positive way, which automatically puts him at the top of Danny’s list of people to hang out with.

This, however, is coupled with Danny’s renewed feelings of distress about how much information was withheld from him while he was in K’un-Lun (which is also true in the comics. This is mostly due to 616 K’un-Lun’s massive amount of political intrigue, which we’re dying for the show to cover). The fact that the Chaste existed to work alongside the Iron Fist, and Danny didn’t know about them, and now most of them are dead, is a killer bombshell for Stick to drop on him at this moment. Danny is therefore desperate to learn everything he possibly can to make up for this intel gap, and is eager to hear what Stick has to say.

We enjoy the contrast here with Matt– and the fact that Danny gets annoyed at Matt’s disrespect and dismissal of Stick’s intel. Danny has finally found someone who knows what’s going on and who is just as invested in this fight as he is, not to mention someone with a personal connection to his home, and dammit, he wants to listen!

Danny’s delight in his new allies does not last, of course, and it ends the minute he is transformed into the show’s MacGuffin (thing for the protagonists and antagonists to fight over). With the revelation that the Hand need the Iron Fist in their possession in order to achieve their aims, the team tries to do the absolute worst thing that could possibly be done to Danny in this context: prevent him from fighting.

(Exhibit A: A rare image of Luke Cage telling Danny Rand to calm down. Only a handful of these exist in the world, so take a good look. We’ve talked before about the temperament switch in this version of the dynamic duo, and this summarizes that change perfectly. It’s fascinating, and we can’t wait to see how it plays out as their friendship continues to develop. When they do Good Cop/Bad Cop… will Danny be the Bad Cop? How wild would that be?!)

This is a brilliant narrative wrench to throw into Danny’s story arc, since it’s pretty close to his worst nightmare. The only meaning he has in life right now, the only way he will ever be able to reconcile the pain Iron Fist Season 1 left him with, the only way he will be able to avenge K’un-Lun, is to take down the Hand. He is a warrior, this is his job, the enemy is winning, and his friends want to prevent him from fighting. He’d probably prefer it if Stick just tried to kill him, instead of being locked up and rendered helpless. The emotional horror of being blocked from fulfilling his mission is coupled with the frustration that comes with the fact that he is right and the audience knows it. The Hand want him on their side or out of the fight completely. Danny, more than anyone there other than Stick, knows how sneaky and deceptive and manipulative the Hand can be, and now he sees their influence tearing his dream team apart, and these people he thought were his allies are refusing to listen to him. He sees his hopes for victory unraveling in front of him, and nothing he says makes any difference! We’d start punching too! We’re getting stressed and frustrated just writing about it!

Plus, Danny is being betrayed by people he thought he could trust… AGAIN. Still reeling from the series of massive betrayals he suffered through in his solo show, his willingness to trust in the good intentions of the people around him is once more coming back to hit him in the face. A good chunk of the anger and frustration he experiences in this scene is likely aimed toward himself, for once again becoming emotionally attached to the wrong people. Of course, the others are acting in what they think are Danny’s best interests, but given all of these factors, there’s no way Danny doesn’t see this as yet another betrayal.

This is the face of a guy who has lost everything, has just been stabbed in the back for the hundredth time, has at maximum two people in his life he can trust… maybe two-and-a-half, and who just had to chi punch someone he cares about. A serious contender for most heartbreaking moment in the show.

And of course– big surprise– this ends up being a mistake. Tying him up and trying to hide him only makes it easier for the Hand to get their hands on him. To add injury to more injury, Stick is killed in the process (R.I.P. gone too soon), and Luke is poisoned– two things Danny was rendered powerless to prevent. This leads into his third, and possibly most interesting, confrontation with Alexandra.

After dangling the image of K’un-Lun’s ruins in front of Danny throughout the entire show, Alexandra now switches tactics and reveals her own emotional connections to his lost home. This comes alongside her cryptic assertion that Danny “saw what [he] wanted to see” when he returned to K’un-Lun. “Wanted” seems like a strange word to use in this situation (”expected” would make more sense), but once Danny discovered that the Hand was real during his solo show, and after all of Davos’s warnings, there was unquestionably a part of him that feared he’d return to find it gone. This, alongside the Hand leaders’ sincere desire to go back to the city themselves, makes a pretty strong case for it having not actually been destroyed. We likely won’t learn the truth until Season 2 of Iron Fist, but the hope is there. Danny, for his part, remains seemingly unaffected by this attempt at a personal connection. He doesn’t trust anything the Hand have to say, and probably assumes Alexandra is just messing with him. He has become too jaded to hope that he’s wrong about K’un-Lun, and too angry to care if the Hand share his love of the city. They’re evil jerks regardless, and now that he’s in their grasp, he can’t afford any moment of weakness or shred of doubt.

After Alexandra’s premature death (hopefully this means no one will call Matt “the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen” ever again!), Danny falls into Elektra’s hands and the two weapons finally get their rematch. We wrote a post about the fact that Danny never lost any of his physical fights in Iron Fist, and so getting beaten by Elektra in the beginning of The Defenders likely left a big impression on him. We were hoping the Black Sky might end up being an Immortal Weapon, and while this was neither confirmed nor denied, she is still essentially treated like one by the Hand. This creates some fascinating parallels and contrasts between Elektra and Danny.

Danny, via his emotional connection to K’un-Lun and the strong sense of duty he finally has the capacity for since sorting out his identity tangle, is a willing weapon. He serves and honors his city because he loves it and knows how much he owes to it (stay tuned for the Matt parallel!). Elektra, via her history of negative experiences with servitude and her desire for control of her own destiny, is an unwilling weapon. Her status as a tool of the Hand is a prison she was forced into, and from which she has finally managed to escape. She sees Danny’s loyalty as weakness; he sees her rebellion as unfaithfulness. At the same time, Danny completely supports people betraying the Hand, so his comments about her lack of loyalty may just be attempts to get under her skin. Only having his experiences to go on, he doesn’t understand that this wouldn’t bother her– just as Elektra doesn’t understand that Danny has no desire to be “free” of his masters the way she does. In this moment, neck-deep in his mission and standing in the presence of something created by another Iron Fist, his loyalty and resolve are stronger than ever.

*Ahem*

(They made “Sweet Christmas” work. They could’ve let Danny keep his K’un-Lun expletives. Come on.)

A solid argument could be made that Danny actually could read the writing on the door, but just didn’t want to reveal that information to Elektra. The idea of an Iron Fist writing an important message in a K’un-Lun-specific dialect brings to mind Book of the Iron Fist from the comics, which is written in a language only Iron Fists can read. However, we also know that Gao was able to decipher the door, and Danny being unable to would tie into the continuing theme of his getting left in the dark by his masters in K’un-Lun.

(This is just a really nice shot.)

When her attempts to relate to Danny and win him to her side fail, Elektra falls back on the same old tactics everyone else has been using against him– his weak spot regarding K’un-Lun.

Having been taunted about this throughout the entire show, again and again fighting to keep his emotions in check, and feeling no closer to avenging the city… Danny finally snaps. At this point in his story arc, after everything he has been through, he is more emotionally raw than ever. The framing of this moment almost makes it seem as though he summons the Iron Fist without thinking about it– which indicates a dangerous loss of control, and is something that usually only happens in extreme situations.

Danny: “My hand–?! It’s glowing, the power of my chi surging thru my body… almost as if my instincts have realized what my mind has not–”

Iron Fist vol. 1 #11 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and D. Garfield

The final battle with the Hand is, for us, the weakest part of Danny’s Defenders arc, in which his story suffers for the sake of facilitating the team-up. After all of his defeats, face-to-face with the Hand, defending K’un-Lun’s legacy and standing in the skeleton of a freaking dragon, Danny should have been the one to finally triumph and take them down. Instead, he gets rescued, and isn’t even involved in blowing up Midland Circle. Danny has earned the right to spearhead this victory, and that right is taken away from him. As it stands, his mission to find closure and cement his status as the Iron Fist will have to wait until his solo show.

By the end of The Defenders, however, Danny has achieved one of his goals: he has started to build a new family for himself. His one-on-one bonding scene with Luke while tied up, and fighting side-by-side with all three of them, cleared up his residual anger about their getting him into this situation in the first place and proved that these are people he could actually have a future with. This bond is strengthened by the fact that Matt, in what Danny understands to be his dying moments, entrusts him with an important mission.

Of all of the protagonists, Danny is the least emotionally connected to New York City. Yes, he was born there, but it’s not his home. Believing K’un-Lun to be gone, he is now adrift. Like Colleen, he is looking for an anchor, and with the Hand threatening NYC, he was able to somewhat transfer his feelings of duty over to this new city now facing the same fate.

He sees Matt give his life to save his home– something he understands all too well– and through observing that love and spending the show fighting for New York himself, Danny starts to forge a connection to it. He respects Matt’s sacrifice, and in having Matt’s mission transferred to him, he is given something new he can devote himself to. His final shot, silhouetted on a rooftop and wearing an outfit reminiscent of his current costume in the comics, mirrors Matt’s standard hero pose. We’ve talked before about Iron Fist as a “professional” hero– someone whose job just happens to align with that lifestyle. The first time Danny is referred to as a superhero in the comics, he’s shocked, in fact, because this had never occurred to him. The same is true of MCU Danny, which makes it extra exciting that he has now– to a degree that we can only guess at the moment– taken over Matt’s role as a superhero.

This should not derail his continuing identity quest. Being the Iron Fist is at the core of who he is, and in many ways, his origin story is far from over. For this reason, we doubt that he will actually become Daredevil, as he did for a while in the comics. But with the Hand having been taken down, a new place to call home (at least until the K’un-Lun situation is sorted out), budding friendships (and possibly a future partnership with Luke?!), Danny’s life is looking, overall, much better than it was at the beginning of the show.

We cannot wait to see where he goes from here.

#Defenders spoilers #radical-bears #Netflix Defenders #Iron Fist #Danny Rand #Asks #Commentary

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